You clearly are ignorant of the Reformed positions.
My ignorance is daily shrinking due to the most excellent postings of the frantic, tempered with most excellent prose of the WCF, the Catechisms, and Saint Calvin himself (PBUH).
You have amassed a truly incredible theology, evolving quite nicely in many different directions, as the splinters of the splinters of the splinters keep splintering. I truly wish you well. Ignorance can be remedied, but schizophrenia can only be treated.