Male Brain Science Gives Clue to Nagging Questions

Reuters to My Yahoo! ^ | Wed Oct 1, 2003 | Jill Serjeant

[Pharmboy]

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - It's the universal question on many women's lips. "What could he be thinking?" she shrieks, or sighs or sulks at her husband, boyfriend or son.

What is it with men and cars? Why doesn't he notice how much housework needs to be done? Why does he need to keep a grip on the remote control? And the most bewildering one of all -- why won't he just talk to me?

The answers, says social philosopher and author Michael Gurian, lie not in laziness, sexism or sheer pigheadedness but in profound differences between the male and female brain -- and scientists now have the technology to prove it.

"What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man's Mind Really Works," combines two decades of neurobiological research with anecdotes from everyday life and Gurian's experience as a family therapist to present a new vision of the male psyche.

It's a vision that Gurian hopes will help promote a better understanding of men and reverse what he sees as the dangerous assumption born of the past 40 years of radical feminism that men have simply become redundant.

"As a culture, we've made profound mistakes in the last few decades by assuming that men were unnecessary. Many people have even gone so far as to negate or dismiss what is at the core of a man," Gurian writes.

Gurian, author of the 1996 groundbreaking book "The Wonder of Boys" and its follow-up "The Wonder of Girls," is no anti-feminist. He is married with two daughters, and his book mines the field of brain science to help improve relations between couples.

Culture plays a part, but Gurian argues that biology matters much more than previously realized.

"The science has been crucial. Wherever I go, I start by showing PET scans and people can see for themselves the differences between the male and female brain. I think that alters life and marriages," Gurian told Reuters.

THE SCIENCE PART

Such are the advances in technology and understanding that PET radioactive-imaging and MRI magnetic-imaging scans can now show whether a man and a woman are truly in love by measuring the amount of activity in the cingulate gyrus, an emotion center in the brain, Gurian says.

Like a guide through a secret forest, his book leads the nonscientist through the complex world of brain science and relates it to some of the most frustrating sources of conflict between men and women in long-term relationships.

The male brain secretes less of the powerful primary bonding chemical oxytocin and less of the calming chemical serotonin than the female brain.

So while women find emotional conversations a good way to chill out at the end of the day, the tired male brain needs to zone out all that touchy-feely chatter in order to relax -- which is why he wants the remote control to zap through "mindless" sport or action movies.

His brain takes in less sensory detail than a woman's, so he doesn't see or even feel the dust and household mess in the same way. Anyhow, the male brain attaches less personal identity to the inside of a home and more to the workplace or the yard -- which is why he doesn't get worked up about housework.

Male hormones such as testosterone and vasopressin set the male brain up to seek competitive, hierarchical groups in its constant quest to prove self-worth and identity. That is why men, paradoxically (from a hormonally altered new mother's point of view), become even more workaholic once they have kids, to whom they must also prove their worth.

BACK TO NATURE

Gurian says his book is aimed mainly at women. "Men get this already. They are living this brain but they don't have the conscious language to explain it. Women are not living it.

"If they are relating to a man, I hope they will be touched, informed and entertained and will have a new vision of the way they can make their relationship work.

"I beg people to go back to nature, look at the PET scans, look at the brain differences and see if it makes sense."

If it does, the consequences are profound for a generation of "liberated" women brought up to believe it is men who have to change, and men who must respond to a female way of relating in order for marriage to succeed.

Gurian says men can learn new skills and alter their behavior but they will not be able to meet all of women's expectations.

"Popular culture focuses so much on trying to get people closer. Most people believe that marriages break up because men and women are not close enough. But what I am learning about the brain leads to the idea of intimate separateness, in which the brain seeks less intimacy at times," Gurian said.

"People want to love each other. If we can learn who we might be -- not what IS he thinking, but what COULD he be thinking -- then I am optimistic."

[Pharmboy]

"Honey, really, I can't help it--it's all in my genes."

[Fledermaus]

Total psychobabble nonsense.

[najida]

His brain takes in less sensory detail than a woman's, so he doesn't see or even feel the dust and household mess in the same way. Anyhow, the male brain attaches less personal identity to the inside of a home and more to the workplace or the yard -- which is why he doesn't get worked up about housework.

Oh dear, I am a man!

[TopQuark]

Gurian: "social philosopher and author... and Gurian's experience as a family therapist"

What does this man really know?

[dinok]

Like I always say...its not how clean the house looks, but how good the woman looks next to me when I go out with her.

If I wanted to marry a maid I would have.

[Pharmboy]

J Lo looked pretty good as a maid...

[nevergore]

Hope they didn't spend too much money on this one....

Man's brain is pretty easy to figure out and it goes in this order...Sex..beer..Sex...Football...Sex....Car....Sex...food

NeverGore

[Ronin]

I strongly disagree. Males and females are different. We need to listen to this guy and examine what he says.

Right now, in schools all across America, the liberals are stuffing ritalin down kids throats, applying PC doctrine, and otherwise terrorising little boys into behaving like little girls. The consequences of this are going to be felt for a long time to come.

This guy says men and women are different and the difference goes far beyond our plumbing fixtures. Well, I say it's about damn time someone had the courage to say so.

[dinok]

"J Lo looked pretty good as a maid..."

The maid fetish has bypassed me. I thought J Lo looked terrible in that outfit.

I wonder what the scientists would say about this?

[Pharmboy]

You go, guy! I'm with you...

[Pharmboy]

(I hope you know the tune)


A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM


Everybody Ought To Have A Maid

SENEX
Maids like me. I'm neat. I like maids. They're neat. Something no household should be without.

EVERYBODY OUT TO HAVE A MAID.

PSEUDOLUS
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.

SENEX
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A WORKING GIRL,
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A LURKING GIRL
TO PUTTER AROUND THE HOUSE.
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.


PSEUDOLUS
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.

SENEX
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MENIAL,
CONSISTENTLY CONGENIAL
AND QUIETER THAN A MOUSE.
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELICIOUS,
TIDYING UP THE DISHES,
NEAT AS A PIN?
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELIGHTFUL,
SWEEPING OUT, SLEEPING IN?
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID!


PSEUDOLUS
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID!

SENEX
SOMEONE WHOM YOU HIRE WHEN YOU'RE SHORT OF HELP,
TO OFFER YOU THE SORT OF HELP
YOU NEVER GET FROM A SPOUSE,
FLUTTERING UP THE STAIRWAY,
SHUTTERING UP THE WINDOWS,
CLUTTERING UP THE BEDROOM,
BUTTERING UP THE MASTER,
PUTTERING ALL AROUND THE HOUSE!
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELICIOUS,
TIDYING UP THE DISHES,
NEAT AS A PIN?
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELIGHTFUL,
SWEEPING OUT,
SLEEPING IN?

EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID!


PSEUDOLUS
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.

SENEX
SOMEONE WHO, WHEN FETCHING YOU YOUR SLIPPER, WILL
BE WINSOME AS A WHIPPOORWILL
AND GRACEFUL AS A GROUSE.
SKITTERING DOWN THE HALLWAY,
FLITTERING THROUGH THE PARLOR,
TITTERING IN THE PANTRY,
LITTERING UP THE BEDROOM,

SENEX/PSEUDOLUS
PUTTERING ALL AROUND THE HOUSE!

HYSTERIUM
A maid?

PSEUDOLUS
A maid.

SENEX
A maid.

ALL
A maid!

EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A SERVING GIRL,
A LOYAL AND UNSWERVING GIRL,
WHO'S QUIETER THAN A MOUSE.

HYSTERIUM
OH! OH!
THINK OF HER AT THE DUSTBIN,
'SPECIALLY WHEN SHE'S JUST BEEN TRAIPSING ABOUT.
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELIGHTFUL
LIVING IN ...


SENEX
GIVING OUT?

ALL
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.
DAINTILY COLLECTING BITS OF PAPER 'N' STRINGS.
APPEALING IN HER APRON STRINGS,

SENEX
BEGUILING IN HER BLOUSE!

HYSTERIUM
PATTERING THROUGH THE ATTIC,

SENEX
CHATTERING IN THE CELLAR,

PSEUDOLUS
CLATTERING IN THE KITCHEN,

SENEX
FLATTERING IN THE BEDROOM,

ALL
PUTTERING ALL AROUND
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE.

HYSTERIUM
A maid?

PSEUDOLUS
A maid.

SENEX
A maid.

LYCUS
A maid!

ALL
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.
SOMEONE WHO'S EFFICIENT AND RELIABLE,
OBEDIENT AND PLIABLE
AND QUIETER THAN A MOUSE.
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE SO NIMBLE,
FIDDLING WITH HER THIMBLE,
MENDING A GOWN?
OH! OH!
WOULDN'T SHE BE DELIGHTFUL,


LYCUS
CLEANING UP ...

SENEX
LEANING DOWN!

ALL
EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A MAID.
SOMEONE WHO'LL BE BUSY AS A BUMBLEBEE
AND EVEN IF YOU GRUMBLE, BE
AS GRACEFUL AS A GROUSE!

PSEUDOLUS
WRIGGLING IN THE ANTEROOM,

HYSTERIUM
JIGGLING IN THE LIVING ROOM,

LYCUS
GIGGLING IN THE DINING ROOM,

SENEX
WIGGLING IN THE OTHER ROOMS,

ALL
PUTTERING ALL AROUND
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE,
THE HOUSE!

[dinok]

Dude...you need help...

[Pharmboy]

[nuconvert]

I didn't read a single here that I hadn't read or known before.

[Pharmboy]

Well, at least there is now some scientific documentation for all of us who always knew this...

[mtbopfuyn]

Man's brain is pretty easy to figure out and it goes in this order...Sex..beer..Sex...Football...Sex....Car....Sex...food

You left out sleep.

[ExSoldier]

Okay, my wife wants to know...after fifteen otherwise wonderful years of marriage...WHY DO I STILL LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT "UP" IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? This disconcerting act has never been grounds for her to consider divorce....Murder? Absolutely. But not divorce.

My response? The tried and true...."Honey....it's a GUY thing." Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

[AuntB]

"-- why won't he just talk to me?"

Really? My complaint has always been that they won't shut up. Go figure...

Seriously...it's about time someone figured out that we really are different.

[Aracelis]

"People want to love each other. If we can learn who we might be -- not what IS he thinking, but what COULD he be thinking -- then I am optimistic."

Ahhh...see? They still want to change you fellas. Personally, I think you all are charming just the way you are. ;^)

[Junior]

Personally, I think you all are charming just the way you are.

Madame, you are a paragon of observation, intelligence and virtue. Now, where's the damned remote..?