Cows. You hate cows. Dumb, cud-chewing, moon-jumping, flatulent beasts. You can do your share (well, more than your share) to rid the planet of these beasts, before their evil plot to take over succeeds.
PETA. You hate PETA. They would be offended at your feat, and that's a good thing. Heck, invite some of them to come watch; that may just be the inspiration you need to get the last pound or so down.
Hindus. You hate Hindus. Well, actually, you probably don't, but pretend you do for purposes of this event. Since they regard cows as sacred, they're guaranteed to be offended, and again, that's a good thing.
Are you by any chance a Catholic? If so, eat the 72-ounce steak on a Friday, because you can. It used to be a mortal sin, but now you'll no longer go to Hell for doing so. The change, alas, came too late to help Great-grandpaw, now roasting for eternity for having eaten a cheeseburger on a Friday in 1967. Oh, well. At least you can take full advantage of the rules change, and who knows, that might provide another bit of inspiration.
Have some non-French red wine with your meal. Just to annoy you-know-who.
If you can get away with it, don't eat the parsley sprig. Claim an allergy, and threaten to sue if they insist you eat it. Every little bit helps. And by the way, do you know the difference between parsley and... oops, we can't go there on a G-Rated thread. But just remember the punch line: "Nobody eats parsley."
Finally, with regard to being "plugged up" as an aftereffect, console yourself with the knowledge that "this too shall pass."
Be sure to save room for that double-chocolate cheesecake with ice cream and raspberry sauce!
