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Ebola Monkey Man: Pissing off Nigerian 419 Scammers One At a Time
http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html ^
| various
Posted on 08/27/2003 9:55:20 AM PDT by lowbridge
ATTENTION: This site is dedicated to all the hardworking people who have either been scammed or annoyed by a Nigerian 419 Scam Artist. My intention is not to offend anyone. OK, that's a lie. My intention is to offend anyone who will sink low enough to take advantage of a hard working person. I love all people, except those that cause pain. If you are not a scammer and find this page offensive, use your head and please do not add it to your favorites section. Oh, and relax, it's all in good fun.
WARNING!!!! SOME OF THESE SCAMS CONTAIN HARSH LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT PHOTOS!
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: letters; nigerianscam; scam
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1
posted on
08/27/2003 9:55:21 AM PDT
by
lowbridge
To: lowbridge
This is the letter that I use to respond to the Nigerian scam artists.
Dear Mr. Abacha:
You have uplifted my self-esteem with your honorable letter. However, the risks of your proposition are great, requiring me to charge a 40% handling fee in order to process the sum of which you speak.
As you know, the Trilateralists, Herman's Hermits, the Elders of Zion, and the Council on Foreign Relations are conspiring with The Man to keep Nigerians in their place. Thus, the danger for me is great. I do not wish to run afoul the guns of Yosemite Sam in this endeavour.
You can repose great confidence in me because I have experience in such transactions. For the past seven years, I have held in safekeeping a large gold cross given to me by my grandfather, William Jennings Bryan.
I am glad that you have done your homework and created a way for us to mutually benefit from the death of your father. With the exception of taxing Californians through the repeal of Proposition 13, there is nothing that I like better than to profit off of dead relatives.
Here is the information that you require to complete our transaction without sinking ships.
Warren E. Buffett
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY INC.
1440 Kiewit Plaza
Omaha, NE 68131
USA
Phone/Fax (800) 786-6426
Give my regards to Abbas. Ask him if he has any wives that he can sell to me. I have some fine cattle and Pokemon cards that I wish to trade.
Insincerely,
W.E.B.
2
posted on
08/27/2003 9:59:07 AM PDT
by
Young Rhino
(Does God wear a tinfoil hat? Is He a member of the CFR and Trilateral Commission?)
To: lowbridge
I haven't run into any bad language yet, but this is hilarious! I'm only to Oct. 23rd.
3
posted on
08/27/2003 10:01:48 AM PDT
by
scott7278
("If I'm not back by dawn -- call the president.")
To: lowbridge
read later
To: lowbridge
bump
To: lowbridge
I set up a special email account on Yahoo to reply to these idiots. It's in the name of Kania Ripmiov. I claim it's a traditional Russian name.
To: Young Rhino
The Liberians have gotten into the act now. I received a letter from a supposed former assistant to the President of Liberia claiming that he had abscounded with $15 million dollars that was to be used for buying armaments. I replied that " you are the type of a scoundrel that I would hold in complete trust in any business arrangement." Then I sent him to a bank in Hong Kong where I told him I had forwarded the money he requested. All he had to do was arrive at the bank and identify himself.
7
posted on
08/27/2003 10:53:06 AM PDT
by
dvan
To: lowbridge
How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh
8
posted on
08/27/2003 10:58:07 AM PDT
by
dhuffman@awod.com
(The conspiracy of ignorance masquerades as common sense.)
To: Howlin; Ed_NYC; MonroeDNA; widgysoft; Springman; Timesink; dubyaismypresident; Grani; coug97; ...
This is awesome!
Just damn.
If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
9
posted on
08/27/2003 11:00:37 AM PDT
by
mhking
To: lowbridge
bump
10
posted on
08/27/2003 11:02:18 AM PDT
by
Jaxter
("A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul."- Shaw)
To: lowbridge; Poohbah; PJ-Comix; BOBTHENAILER; Luis Gonzalez; Howlin; Miss Marple
Oh, goodie...
I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them? I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...
11
posted on
08/27/2003 11:05:26 AM PDT
by
hchutch
(The National League needs to adopt the designated hitter rule.)
To: lowbridge
JUSTICE IS SERVED!!!!!!!! I love it!
12
posted on
08/27/2003 11:08:37 AM PDT
by
pogo101
To: hchutch
I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...
No, but if you make the would-be scammer the Bengals' #1 draft pick, he'll blow out his knee within 6 months. THAT'll work.
13
posted on
08/27/2003 11:10:29 AM PDT
by
pogo101
To: lowbridge
Thanks, I've bookmarked the URL. About time some people scammed the scammers.
14
posted on
08/27/2003 11:16:59 AM PDT
by
aruanan
To: Young Rhino
NOW I know what I can use my son's Pokemon cards for!
To: lowbridge
I have gotten really tired of these Nigerian scam artists. I reply sometimes explaining that I am a klansman in need of volunteers for our meetings. They haven't replied yet. I offer them lots of money.....
To: Young Rhino
LOL, I love the Bryan reference.
17
posted on
08/27/2003 1:11:25 PM PDT
by
Straight Vermonter
(...they led my people astray, saying, "Peace!" when there was no peace -- Ezekiel 13:10)
To: lowbridge
I just spent an hour on that site, laughing so hard my side hurts!!!
18
posted on
08/27/2003 2:07:27 PM PDT
by
Feiny
(Courtesy is not a sign of weakness.)
To: dhuffman@awod.com
How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh Can't explain that here. :-)
19
posted on
08/27/2003 4:46:27 PM PDT
by
lowbridge
(Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
To: hchutch
I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them? Brooklyn Bridge, Florida swampland, the Empire State Building in NY, Grand Canyon, the possibilites are endless.
20
posted on
08/27/2003 4:48:25 PM PDT
by
lowbridge
(Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
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