Posted on 07/20/2003 7:59:11 PM PDT by Archangelsk
Uhmmmm, hasn't been my experience. It makes a lovely dream, finding one of like precious faith and all, but, like others have posted, women who are regular church attenders are predominantly those who have been wounded and crippled spiritually and are really not any better equipped emotionally to be a loving spouse than any other woman from the general population.
No woman can hurt a man like a nominal (small "c") christian can. They get trained on how to use very personal weaponry on the most vulnerable spots of a guy's soul.
You'd be surprised. I often wondered how a two-time loser with more tattoos than the illustrated man could end up with the head cheerleader. But it was more the rule than the exception.
Any woman who would contemplate marrying some of the guys you describe as part of your congregation are probably pretty tough cookies before the marriage and might have been around the block a few times.
See my comment above. Before I witnessed this phenomenon, I was inclined to dismiss out of hand the notion that women like bad guys, that they like to be abused, that somehow it's a turn-on for them. After my years as a lay counselor, I'm not nearly so dismissive of this as before.
I think you have to admit that your church is a little unusual.
We have all ethnic, religious, social and professional backgrounds in our congregation. Anyone visiting our church would believe in the melting pot again. And wasn't it Jesus who said "Those are are not sick have no need for a physician."?
It's my hope that the average Christian guy who goes to a large church with a submitted spirit and persistent prayer is going to find a worthy mate, sooner or later--if, that is, it's the Lord's will.
And here I thought the Cross was the great equalizer, the practical answer to multiculturalism. Unfortunately this notion that some Christians are more typical than others is the new hot trend in the 21st century church. It might explain a lot of the turmoil I saw in the troubled marriages that came my way.
Of course, I never saw the successful ones, so what do I know.
As far as your church being unusual: you did give the impression that most of the people there were those who had been through the criminal justice system. I had the image of a group of thirteen thousand ex-cons, ex-addicts,and other very troubled types. It's good to hear that your church is also a real melting pot, as ours is.
Your last line seems so on-target. If you do couples counselling, you're not going to see the happy marriages, the ones that have gone on for 25 years. It's clear that if you do enough counselling you can get awfully sore-hearted and burned out. I'm glad you're getting a chance to rest from those wars.
You know, not everybody who goes to church does so because they're driven there in emotional agony! Millions of people go because they were raised in the faith.
Maybe Christian women aren't better equipped emotinally to be loving spouses. But in their marriages they have an Resource that the unchurched woman don't have. Would you really rather marry a woman who doesn't believe in anything bigger than her own ambitions, desires, self? Do you really want someone who thinks that, since there is no God, anything is okay?
A lot of what he writes in this article is true. However, only someone who has no children -- and makes it a priority to justify this decision with a whiff of superiority -- could hold the above view.
Some elements of our society are undesirable, but having children is the greatest thing in the world. In fact, being a Dad has made me put morons like Susan Reimer in perspective and helped me not to get so worked up over them like this guy does. There will always be stupid people in the world, but they can't hug my kids or read them a bedtime story.
I win...
Absolutely not. That's why I've never married.
LOL, somehow I knew you would ping me to this. The author failed to mention our favorite country. My long range plan is to go live there. Tell your lady, and join us there. The cost of living is low, everyone speaks English, and they say the beaches are nice this time of year, and I can still watch my sports on satellite TV.
Damn straight! :-) Visit Montreal dude, you're not far....the sheer number and sacale of hotties is jaw-dropping.
And if any of them bats her eyelashes at you and wants to marry you, it will be for yourself alone and not for a meal-ticket to the U.S. where she'll go "native" and dump you as soon as she can do it without getting deported. But I'm sure you'll be able to spot a Ukranian gold-digger alot faster than an American one.
American women will "contaminate" your pure specimen once you get back, unless you keep her away from them. Unless...you're willing to live in Kiev for the rest of your life.
You'll score more points if you don't use "Ukraine" and "Russia" interchangeably. Happy hunting!
I think the dynamic is a little more complex than that. In the vast majority of cases I was involved with, yes, she wanted a rough tough bad guy. He was exciting. He was dangerous. He was sexy. And she was drawn to the danger. But in almost every case, she wanted to, and thought she could, control him.
In almost every case, the violence came as no surprise to the wife. He roughed her up before they were married. Guess what? He roughed her up after they were married. Throughout all this, I kept thinking of the old saying -- "A sure-fire way to fail is to keep doing what doesn't work, expecting different results."
As far as your church being unusual: you did give the impression that most of the people there were those who had been through the criminal justice system. I had the image of a group of thirteen thousand ex-cons, ex-addicts,and other very troubled types. It's good to hear that your church is also a real melting pot, as ours is.
My bad. Again, I was trying to keep on topic. But we are pretty diverse. We have a local vetrenarian who gave $30 million cash to our building fund, and owns 1/3 of all the available raw land left in California. We also have a children's minister who has some nasty scars on his shoulder from taking five 00 buckshot pellets in the back during a gang shootout in some East L.A. barrio. And everybody in between. The true diversity is the real thing, not some lip service paid by liberals which really translates into some sort of government control.
It's clear that if you do enough counselling you can get awfully sore-hearted and burned out. I'm glad you're getting a chance to rest from those wars.
Me too. -:)
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