Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! -- By DENNIS MILLER

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Wednesday, July 16, 2003 | DENNIS MILLER

[TroutStalker]

Well, Jerry Springer is mulling over a run for the Senate and John Adams is no doubt spinning in his grave so furiously that if we could just hook up a turbine power cable to his headstone we would probably solve all our energy woes.

[xsmommy]

. The good citizens of Ohio in the past have seen fit to elect Jim Traficant to Congress and trust me, Traficant makes Springer look like Hammurabi

FREE JIMBO!

[E Rocc]

Springer ran for governor in 1982 and got trounced in the Dim primary. He was mayor of Cincinnati before that.

It's a tossup who has the most embarrasing ex-mayor: Cleveland (Dennis the Menace) or Cincinnati.

-Eric

[justshutupandtakeit]

Hilarious.

[Vigilantcitizen]

"Say, an IQ Quizometer on the door of the voting booth where you have to get seven out of 10 current-events questions right before you're allowed in to cast your ballot. All right, settle down liberals. Make that 4 out of 10."

Good one.

[bedolido]

wow... within one minute of each other... lol

[Ann Archy]

Springer LIVES in Chicago!! Not in OHIO, although I think his daughter could still live in Ohio, but he DOESN'T!! I guess after HILLARY! carpetbags in NY anything is possible.

[mabelkitty]

Cleveland, the only truly liberal and Democratic county in Ohio, is vehemently OPPOSED to voting for Springer. They are quite sensitive for national ridicule, what with the river cathcing on fire and all.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

The thought of Jerry at the microphone while Hillary gets into an argument with some other Senator, and the rest of the Senate chanting "old whore" and Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" is really intriguing to me. Especially if Hillary starts yelling "y'all shut up, y'all don't know me" at all her Senate peers.

I mean, she is from Arkansas after all.

[rvoitier]

I only wish when Springer gets in (and, oh yes, he will get in) he's seated geographically. That way he'll stand next to KKK Byrd. What a lovely sight that would be.

[skinkinthegrass]

"4 out of 10"...lower..."2 out of 10" and make them write their presumed names quicky and show their Mex. I.D. cards , Dennis.

[MJY1288]

ROFLMAO, I'm glad Dennis Miller is on our side

[ValerieUSA]

Dennis Miller - a man of the people, strolling through laundromat parking lots, observing, smirking, taking notes. I can see it.
Jerry Springer - the people's jester, setting up a microphone booth in a laundromat parking lot asking drunks what they hate most about each other and offering five dollars to women to take off their tops.

[Xthe17th]

Courtesy of David Letterman:
"What two words do people associate with Jerry Springer?"..."Teen Hookers"..."Well there you have it. If Jerry Springer gets elected, pretty soon Ohio's license plates will say 'Teen Hookers' on them."

Hey, Springer can't be any more embarrasing or worse than KKK Byrd, can he?

[theFIRMbss]

>Well, Jerry Springer is mulling over a run for the Senate and John Adams is no doubt spinning in his grave

Which is stupider --
Springer in the Senate, or
the Wall Street Journal

running an op-ed
from loser Hollywood fringe
like Dennis Miller?!

[Xthe17th]

PS: Letterman says he's running against Springer. He admits he isn't from Ohio, doesn't live in Ohio, and won't move to Ohio [David Letterman is from Indiana and currently resides in Connecticut], but he's running against Springer anyway. Hillaryous!!

[FAB]

I Love It

[CougarGA7]

Springer would have to hire a team of sherpas to assist him on the long trek back up to the lowest common denominator.

That line killed me. LOL.

I don't see why Springer wouldn't run. Just look at the examples out there. Jesse Ventura for example. Most people no longer vote because they think the person is the most qualified or he will do the best job. It's all based on name recognition.

A large percentage of Americans have divested themselves from the political process to the extent that they have no clue what they are buying. Then they enter the booth because they heard somewhere that they needed to and have no idea who any of the people on the ballot are.

Then they go "Springer, hey I know him!" *click* And we get another idiot in the core of our political process.

[far sider]

Springer grew up in NY. After he was on Cincinnati city council, he was the news anchor on Channel 5 in Cincinnati. I was not very political back then but two things stand out in my mind from his news reports.

1. When Clarence Thomas was nominated for the Supreme Court I thought how easy it would be for some politican or reporter to take a cheap shot at him by calling him an Uncle Tom. That evening during his daily commentary, Springer refered to him as "Uncle Thomas." Springer has always been low-class.

2. I was at a large pro-life march in Columbus in the early 90's, and Channel 5 had a reporter there. So when I got home I watched the news to see what kind of coverage we would get from Springer. They showed about 5 seconds of coverage of the march and about 2 minutes worth of 5 "homeless vets" (winos) in New York burning the US flag.

[The Old Hoosier]

Was Kucinich mayor when the river caught on fire?