Never a dull moment with America’s royalty

Oak Lawn (IL) Reporter ^ | 7/10/03 | Michael M. Bates

[mikeb704]

They’re baaack! The Kennedys, that is. America’s royal family. The dynasty. The family that, as we’ve been told many times, has been cursed with so many tragedies.

Last month a national poll was taken on how people feel about the family patriarch, Senator Edward M. Kennedy. Opinion was evenly divided, with 44 percent having a favorable opinion of him and an identical percentage holding an unfavorable view. Not much of a surprise there.

What amazes me, however, is that four percent of the people surveyed had never even heard of Edward M. Kennedy. How is that possible? Given their lack of knowledge, that four percent must certainly be Democrats, which makes their ignorance of Teddy and his Amazing Liver even more implausible.

Quite clearly, this Kennedy unawareness was intolerable and needed immediate remedy. So last week Ted’s niece, Kerry Kennedy Cuomo, got in the news. She and her husband separated, thus extending the family’s unparalleled chain of "tragedies" and recapturing the public attention that America’s royal family alone deserves.

Then it came out that her husband had sought the severance of the connubial bond. Seems that Kerry, daughter of the late Robert "I’ll take JFK’s hand me downs as long as they look like Marilyn Monroe" Kennedy, has been something less than a faithful wife. Mr. Cuomo’s lawyer declared that her client felt betrayed by his wife’s conduct.

News reports are that Kerry’s been involved with a married man, a polo-playing rich guy. Funny, isn’t it, how a party of the people gal like Kerry takes a leave of absence from her marriage to get it on with a gent who plays polo in Argentina? You’d think she’d be seeking out the sympathetic understanding of a United Farm Worker or someone like that.

Not wanting his cousin to be the only one hogging the limelight, Congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), Teddy’s son, took action a few days ago. He made news by telling a group of Young Democrats that he doesn’t need any part of President Bush’s tax cut. The reason is, "I’ve never worked a (expletive deleted) day in my life."

I have no doubt that’s the utter truth. Still, he did have a flunky try to clean up afterward by saying that Patrick was "energizing the crowd and got caught up in it and used an unfortunate word, which he regrets using." At first I thought the unfortunate word he was referencing was "worked," but I guess not.

What he should have said was that young Kennedy regretted getting caught using an unfortunate word. Then again, the press should never have reported the incident and thus it is yet another Kennedy family calamity we can mourn.

Patrick is all too familiar with the family’s heartbreaking heritage, having deeply been involved in a catastrophe a dozen years ago. It began innocently enough at Easter in Palm Beach. His Dad woke him and his cousin, William Kennedy Smith, up one night.

Teddy is an old school parent and thinks families should do things together. You know, things like hitting bars and picking up women. So that’s what our valiant heroes, shouldering all the responsibilities of Camelot, did.

One of the women who accompanied the boys home later that night testified that the Honorable Senator Kennedy pranced around without his pants on. He did have on a nicely tailored oxford shirt, and possibly even underwear. She wasn’t sure.

Patrick jumped to his father’s defense, insisting that he did indeed keep his trousers on. And you think Chelsea Clinton had it rough.

Another one of the gals claimed Cousin Willie had raped her. He admitted having sex with her, but maintained it was consensual. A jury believed him. His lawyer said that it was Teddy’s testimony, bolstered by the senator’s personal magnetism, that persuaded the jury.

Yet another family heartbreak, one coming at a totally unanticipated time. As Teddy had said, they had merely been observing a traditional Kennedy family holiday. Maybe that’s the problem: That is a traditional Kennedy family holiday.

And now they’re back in the news. Like the Clintons, they just won’t go away. Life, as John Kennedy was fond of saying, is unfair.

[mikeb704]

Oh, the humanity.

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[nopardons]

See ... they news IS being reported in the Midwest ! :-)

[speedy]

This poll on Ted Kennedy is important, because it lets us pinpoint exactly how many morons are out there -- the 44 percent who have a favorable opinion of him. Now there is also that 4 percent who never heard of him. We could assume they are a different kind of moron, but maybe they are just living clean lives. In any event, we can see that our margin of victory is slim indeed. What we have to hope is that the 44 percent who are favorable to drunken sex offenders do not vote in the numbers of the upstanding 44 percent who have an unfavorable view of drunken sex offenders.

[cavtrooper21]

Ever noticed that the Kennedys are like roaches...
For all the oblivious reasons!

[WorkingClassFilth]

In about, oh, 1993 or so, Senator Kennedy was the guest of the National Press Club Luncheon and the broadcast aired on NPR. I caught the spectacle - yes, it was a radio spectacle.

After a typical Leftist, boot-licking introduction, Sen. Kennedy gave his remarks. His prepared speech went fairly smoothly, although his emphasis and diction went south a few times as though he was reading a prepared statement - which he was.

The real entertainment began when the session opened to Q/A from the audience. Each cub reporter and seasoned veteran stepped up to the plate to kneel before his besottedness and blurt out their being's sum of political wit and beltway urbanity.

'Uh, Senator Kennedy, what was it like to live in Camelot?'

'What are your fondest memories of JFK?'

You get the picture.

The dessert at the luncheon came when the old sod tried to answer the questions. Having no que cards or prepared script for the questions, he bumbled, he fumbled, he stumbled and slurred.

Like a gear with a broken tooth, he'd sit and spin aimlessly. He'd 'um' and he'd 'ah' until the teeth caught and he'd hit some jingoistic fragment of Democratic boilerplate and off he'd go.

"Uh...I...well, uh...[unintelligible]...we shud...umm...ther's more...and I shay...and I shay to you that we have no...nothing...to fear but fear itself...uh yuh."

I laughed until I cried. Well, I actually didn't cry since I was at work and I despise the fool, but I did laugh quite heartily at dear old Teddy's expense. I can't imagine his handlers letting old Ted suck down a fifth and go on the national air with a head full of ethanol.

Oh well, it was during the Krinton years. Who'd have ever noticed?

[MaxPlus305]

OK, this is sort of a tangent and I'm a young-un who wasn't alive at the time. How "credible" is it that Teddy did a cover-up at Chappaquiddick? By that, I mean there are conspiracies and there are wacko conspiracies...so where does Chappaquiddick fall on the continuium?

[nopardons]

Credible beyond your wildest dreams ! He killed Mary Jo and got off scot free. There's even a FREEPER, who was friends with Mary Jo and worked in that gaggle of backroom girls , but saw the light and is now a Conservative. There ARE books, that lay the facts all out for you. OTOH, I was not only alive, but an adult back then, and YES, there was a HUGE coverup !

[newzhawk]

senatorial privilege was a good book that laid out all the cover ups that went on with this crime- we never get to the truth with the Kennedys and the Clintons because they refuse to tell it!

[thegreatbeast]

I say that Hillary is the new Ted Kennedy for the Republican party. She can never be elected president because there are 44% of us who simply would not stand still for it. That leaves too small of a pool for her to win the prize. And Hillary Clinton, or rather the specter of her in power, will raise much more money for Republicans than she will ever raise in her own party.

[nopardons]

" SENATORIA; PRIVILEDGE ; The Chappaquiddick Cover-Up ", by Leo Damore and " CHAPPAQUIDDICK REVEALED ", by Kenneth Kappel, both spell it all out and should be read by EVERYONE !

Neither the Kennedys nor the Clintons are capable of telling the truth, have their own armies of flacks, intimidators/thugs, and the media on their side. It's an utter disgrace.

[nopardons]

SENATORIAL

[CARepubGal]

LOL! Kennedys are annoying and as hard to get rid of as Cockroaches.

[isom35]

I envy that four percent.

[MattAMiller]

I would imagine that a good deal of that 4% are rather young. A lot of us don't have any memories of Ted before he became a sorry mess. It's easy to see how he could fly beneath the radars of many.

[Miss Marple]

Yeah, NOW it is, a full week after the story broke.

It still isn't on the radar in Indianapolis.

[nopardons]

Better late than never ? This is a story, which will continuing giving.

So ... SO ... ? If those living in Indianna, who don't watch FOX CABLE ( O'Reilly muttered on about thsi tonight ), listen to talk radio, and don't read anything other than their own local paper don't ever know about this, why don't YOU ring doorbells and tell them about it, since you're so concerned ? :-)

[Miss Marple]

You know, I don't really understand why you seem to be so hostile to me. You have proven your point, a paper in the Midwest has picked up the story.

It is too early in the morning for me to get into pointless arguments. As I have said before, the reason I am interested in this story is because of the use of the media by both sides. That's all.

[nopardons]

Look, you are the one who started this wee contretemp and I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why you took after me, on another thread. You started this and I gave you a lot of leeway. Now, what the heck ? You want to rumble an old pal ? Okay, I've decided to just give it back to you.

[Miss Marple]

Please show me where I took after you. The only place I disagreed with you was where you said that everyone knew about this because everyone in the Midwest listened to Sean Hannity and read the Post. (I am paraphrasing.)

If I said something offensive in that exchange, please show it to me. I sincerely did not intend to do anything but politely disagree. I have conceded the point, so why are you continuing to be so hostile?