Prayers and advice needed for a FReeper's dad

myself ^ | 7/2/03 | me

[Xenalyte]

My father Ron (my biodad - not my stepfather, who's been my daddy since I was little) had a "mild" stroke yesterday morning.

My 22-year-old half-brother Grayson is home from college and dealing with it, and since this is the first time this has happened in our family, I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to visit my father this afternoon if I can get time off, and I'm picking up a ham and a turkey breast and some side dishes from Eatzi's or Yapa or similar for Grayson (and maybe some dog food, since my father has two dogs).

Can y'all think of anything else that ought to be done? We just found out that this is his third stroke - Grayson didn't even know that interesting little fact.

I don't want Grayson to have to deal with this himself, so any advice is much appreciated.

Also, if you're the praying type, please send a few his way, and Grayson's. This is a very powerful group, and I've seen what prayer can do.

Many thanks and much love, y'all.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Prayers sent.

[Vigilantcitizen]

Prayers sent for your father, brother, and yourself.

The only advice I can offer, as someone who has had a pretty hard life, what does not kill us only makes us stronger.

[snippy_about_it]

Prayers and freepmail on the way.

[Bikers4Bush]

Sorry to hear about it and not to be gruesome but see if he has a living will or anything like that and try to find out if his affairs are in order.

My grandfather had a few mild strokes before the one that forced us to move him into a facility.

Had all the paperwork not been in place it would have been a nightmare.

I know this doesn't sound comforting but believe me it will make your lives (and consequently his) much easier if and when you need to do something.

[JustAmy]

Prayers being sent for you and your family. Special prayers for Ron and Grayson.

[Hegemony Cricket]

Will definitely be praying for Ron, Grayson, you and other family members, as well as God's wisdom for Doctors and Nurses (God bless all of them!).

These are the times that try men's souls - much patience and understanding is required. Times of crisis can bring family & friends together, or they can drive them apart - I've seen both. Good communication is key. Xenalyte, I've read many of your comments, I know that communication is a good skill of yours (especially witty zingers), but I also know that it is often harder with family. My best advice is just to try very hard to keep all your interactions positive and upbeat.

You are doing well to think of providing food for others involved. It is very easy to get caught up in doing what is required by the situation and completely forget that you still need to eat. Sharing a meal with those you love has many benefits - nourishing the body, nourishing the soul.

Many prayers your way!

[humblegunner]

Prayers up.
I hope everything turns out OK!!!

[MissAmericanPie]

Prayers for your bio-Dad. Taking reading material might not be a good idea for your Dad. A stroke victim often has trouble with their eyes. But a video might do the trick for passing the time.

[homeschool mama]

Prayers heavenward, Xenalyte <><

Please keep us updated.

[rintense]

Sounds like you're off to a good start. When my mom got sick, I struggled with why it was happening. When she passed away five months later, I realized that God blessed my mother and I with the time to reconcile our differences. Everything happens for a reason- and that reason will reveal itself in due time.

Prayers for you and your family...

[Pathfinder]

Prayers sent from here.

[grannyc]

As the saying goes..been there..done that. Get Dad to a good doctor who will schedule a carotid sonogram. I think that is what mine was called.) He isn't getting enough oxygen to his brain and may need surgery. I had this surgery on one side ten years ago and so far it has been successful. My prayers are with you, your brother and your Dad. If the carotid arteries completely close you are running the risk of a major stroke......move now and with expediency.

[Shannon]

Bringing the food for him and his dogs is a very good idea. I don't know if he lives alone or what but while you're visiting you might get with his neighbors to see if they'll lend a hand while your father recovers. Being so close by neighbors can be a great help with bringing in the newspaper, getting meals on the table, walking the dogs etc. Wishing him AND you well.

[Wilhelm Tell]

I'm sorry about what is happening to your father. I do have a few observations that may help. 1. If he already has had three strokes, chances are good he will have another one at some point. If you observe anything strange that might indicate another stroke, rush him to the hospital. They have drugs that can prevent further brain damage if the stroke victim is treated soon enough. 2. If your father is experiencing problems that cannot be explained by the strokes, consider having him evaluated for Alzheimer's. I know a family that is taking care of someone where the strokes and Alzheimer's are going hand-in-hand with the person they are taking care of. I do hope the "only" problem your dad has involves strokes. I don't mean to scare you -- just consider that Alzheimer's may or may not eventually become a factor. Nowadays they have drugs that do improve an Alzheimer patient's quality of life especially if the person is treated early in the disease -- it's better than it used to be but there is no cure.

I hope this worst-case scenario is something you never have to deal with. I only mention it because I have seen it happen. In the event of the worst-case scenario, there are things you can do to improve (not cure) the situation. I'm not a doctor or anything -- these are just things I have observed.

[Xenalyte]

I should add that my father and I are not close. I've only seen him two or three times in the last five years. He lives about an hour north of me, and he does live alone when Grayson is at school.

So many thanks for all the prayers and support! I'll keep y'all updated as I find out.

[Xenalyte]

His father had Alzheimer's too, so that's a distinct possibility.

[Gamecock]

You beat me to it, great advice

[texastoo]

Prayers are sent for you and your family.

[Pegita]

Looking to the Lord for healing, strength, and wisdom as you minister to your Dad ...