White People Dominate Caucasian Race, Says Jesse Jackson

BSNN ^ | June 26, 2003 | Lazamataz

[Lazamataz]

BSNN file photo

(crAP) HYMIETOWN, NY -- Jesse Jackson, director of the Rainbow/PUSH coalition, called today for boycotts of Caucasian people, stating that "the lack of diversity in the white race is appalling and divisive."

Jackson made the comments at the 33nd annual Rainbow/PUSH Coalition Conference in New York, saying, "Every time I look at a crowd of white people, all I see are white faces. No African-Americans! No Hispanics! No Asians!"

Leading the crowd in a chant of "The Caucasian race needs a new face," Jackson deflected criticism that white people are, by definition, white.

"It is time for America to adopt new definitions," Jackson said," and the days are over when you can illegally segregate a black man into the category of African-American."

Al Sharpton, who followed Jesse Jackson on the podium, demanded "sensitivity training for those white people too insensitive to be black." Said Sharpton, "All we are asking for is diversity. Why should the white man dominate yet another category? Give minorities a chance to be white, too, and we shall overcome!"

Sharpton characterized the Caucasian race as "yet another good-old-boy network," observing that a black woman in America is likely to never be called a "white male."

Tavis Smiley, local radio host, pointed out that this public relations disaster for white America needs to be addressed with a strict Affirmative Action program.

"The Supreme Court states that race may be considered in admission to school, why can't we consider race when we admit a person to a racial category?" Smiley mused.

All three speakers agreed that in the interest of diversity and racial harmony in America, more black and Hispanic people needed to be admitted to the Caucasian race.

Senator Robert Byrd could not be reached for comment.

[Lazamataz]

Here at BSNN, we make stuff up too.... but the difference is, we tell you about it.

[Lazamataz]

Sharpton characterized the Caucasian race as "yet another good-old-boy network," observing that a black woman in America is likely to never be called a "white male."

My favorite line in the whole work.

[Lazamataz]

Take a breather from your busy day and laugh a little....

[paulklenk]

I had to do a double take on this one -- you got me, pal!

Free Silly,

me

[Lazamataz]

Because I can.

[Lazamataz]

FR hotty ping

or to paraphrase: poke, poke.

[Lazamataz]

you got me, pal!

:o)

Another satisfied customer!

[putupon]

Here at BSNN, we make stuff up too

You made that up? ROFL

[Lazamataz]

You made that up? ROFL

Well, Nate Porter owns the web site, but I (just) made up that slogan, and I authored the above satirical work.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

6 o'clock in Silver Spring, MD, and you've already made my day!

Maybe the white race could pay Je$$e Jack@$$ a few million dollars, thus getting him to drop his complaints...

[Lazamataz]

Hey, let's face it. Saving America is tough work. Once in a while we need to relax.

[Joe Boucher]

What with the murder, rape ,mugging and antisocial behavior by blacks it is no wonder that most white folk care to be around white folks.
Percentage wise the blacks are disproportionatly bad.

[martin_fierro]

[ovrtaxt]

You forgot to mention the part about the Bush Administration pushing for federal spending that will 'steal the issue' from the Democrats. (Yeah, right.)

[R. Scott]

Hehehehehehehehe!

[Focault's Pendulum]

Good thing I hadn't plugged the coffee pot in before I read this......of course I still got snot on the monitor.

[Lazamataz]

Bushbot automaton ping.

[Lazamataz]

of course I still got snot on the monitor.

T.M.I!!!!!

[Lazamataz]

This is supposed to be a humor thread, so let's just say I virulently disagree with you and leave it at that.

[Focault's Pendulum]

I'm holding out for Kleenex reparations.