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Mark Steyn: JK Rowling isn't the only woman with a bizarre story to tell
The Telegraph (U.K.) ^
| 06/21/03
| Mark Steyn
Posted on 06/20/2003 4:08:44 PM PDT by Pokey78
click here to read article
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To: Pokey78
That's his best ever.
41
posted on
06/20/2003 7:18:08 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Googolplex Star Thinker of the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity)
To: The Coopster
Ping!
To: Pokey78
Bump
Pokey please add me to your Mark Steyn Ping List
43
posted on
06/20/2003 8:29:18 PM PDT
by
lindagirl
(just putting my 2 cents in)
To: lindagirl
Will do!
44
posted on
06/20/2003 8:32:39 PM PDT
by
Pokey78
To: JennysCool; jla; MadIvan
Mark Steyn at his funniest finest.
Brilliant!
45
posted on
06/20/2003 8:36:42 PM PDT
by
Happygal
To: Pokey78
Mark Steyn, master of the tour de farce.
46
posted on
06/20/2003 8:40:04 PM PDT
by
Interesting Times
(Leftists view the truth as an easily avoidable nuisance)
To: cgk
LOL! Thanks for the chuckle!
To: Pokey78
Sadly, the publisher's returns policy, conveniently footnoted on page 523 of the book, makes that impossible. Hmm. Steyn can be a pretty deep guy. I couldn't get it out of my head that there might be a message of cosmic significance, specially created for us, his loyal readers, on page 523 of Hillary's masterpiece.
It was Harry Potter Eve, and I went out into the wilderness of my local Borders, defying the chants and weak attempts at magic of Harry Potter fans everywhere. Copies of Living History were prominently displayed in front of the store. I grabbed one and made my way furtively towards a seat. Anxiously, I flipped quickly to page 523 and found ...
a bunch of characteristically bland paragraphs about her victory in the Senate election and the subsequent roller-coaster fate of Presidential hopeful Gore.
I guess I'll pick up ol' Harry some other time.
If I've spared one other person the misery of picking up Hillary's book again for this, it will have been worth it.
D
48
posted on
06/20/2003 9:55:22 PM PDT
by
daviddennis
(Visit amazing.com for protest accounts, video & more!)
To: Pokey78
The Pottersnipes will overwhelm the Hillarydeadnuts!
49
posted on
06/20/2003 10:00:31 PM PDT
by
goldstategop
(In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
To: Pokey78
Oh! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
What a treasure Steyn is ... a national treasure.
IMO, this is Steyn's way of saying he does NOT think too highly of the book ... or mrsclinton.
50
posted on
06/20/2003 10:23:01 PM PDT
by
patricia
To: friendly
As have I, because my 12 year old read them all, and it was my parental duty to do so. I enjoyed them and I can say you are right - he has them dead accurate for the inside lingo, aside from the order of the books. ;)
51
posted on
06/20/2003 11:03:19 PM PDT
by
cgk
(Rummy on WMD: We haven't found Saddam Hussein yet, but I don't see anyone saying HE didn't exist.)
To: cgk
Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer...
"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your ever whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."
Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?"
"Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted.
"A pandering media?" she asked.
"They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do," the Devil assured.
"And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents?" she asked.
"Yes. All of them," the Devil answered.
Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:
"So...what's the catch?"
52
posted on
06/20/2003 11:40:27 PM PDT
by
friendly
To: friendly
HAhahaha!
Heaven or Hell
While walking down the street one day a certain female senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the lady.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose were to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before she realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St.Peter is waiting for her.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
She reflects for a minute, then the senator answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted for us!"
53
posted on
06/20/2003 11:44:53 PM PDT
by
cgk
(Rummy on WMD: We haven't found Saddam Hussein yet, but I don't see anyone saying HE didn't exist.)
To: nutmeg
bump
54
posted on
06/20/2003 11:51:05 PM PDT
by
nutmeg
To: cgk
Bill and Hillary die and go up to Heaven. They march up to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates and demand to be let in to Heaven.
St. Peter consults his book and says, "I'm sorry, but you are not on the list. I cannot allow you into Heaven."
"You moron!" Hillary screams. "Don't you know who we are?! We are the Clintons!"
"That's right!" Bill adds. "We are wonderful people, and surely we should get in to Heaven! You march right in there and talk to God about this! There must be a newer, more updated list!"
Obediently, St. Peter leaves the fuming Clintons standing at the Pearly Gates, and he goes in to Heaven to consult with the Almighty. God tells him that there is no other list and that under no circumstances are the Clintons to be allowed in to Heaven!
St. Peter heads back to the Pearly Gates to give the couple the bad news. A minute later, he is frantically running back to God.
"They're gone!!!" St. Peter wails.
"The Clintons?" God asks.
"No! The Pearly Gates!!"
55
posted on
06/20/2003 11:58:21 PM PDT
by
friendly
To: cgk; pokey
Great Ping CG! Great Post Pokey!
56
posted on
06/21/2003 1:03:55 AM PDT
by
JustPiper
(You know that I'm NOT the kind of crazy that can be cured!!!)
To: Pokey78
Hilarious...he's in top form!
57
posted on
06/21/2003 1:11:42 AM PDT
by
lainde
To: Pokey78
I'm in awe.... I always thought Steyn was brilliant, but WOW!
58
posted on
06/21/2003 1:17:17 AM PDT
by
Tamzee
(Liberalism.... the willing suspense of rationality.)
To: Pokey78
the world's smallest snakeIs this what Bill was hiding in his medical records ?
59
posted on
06/21/2003 4:35:59 AM PDT
by
happygrl
To: Pokey78
This HAS to be his best yet!!
I'm still LOL
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