Posted on 05/20/2003 5:44:56 PM PDT by ATOMIC_PUNK
I suppose he prefers cupping and leeches also.
It'll certainly make hunting season a bit more fruitful......
By MIKE FOSTER
ABILENE, Texas -- So many U.S. teens are now getting high from sniffing manure that horrified educators, family values advocates and law enforcement officials are calling for a ban on the stomach-turning practice.
But a group says that idea stinks -- because members sniff manure to improve their health and claim a daily whiff of cow pie can keep a host of illnesses at bay, ranging from Lou Gehrig's Disease to brain tumors!
"Sniffing manure for medicinal purposes has been a tradition in Asia for thousands of years," notes activist Jim Wingold, an outspoken advocate of the practice and director of the Dallas-based Manure Use Rights Coalition.
"Peasants swore by dung as a cure for a variety of ailments, including arthritis, hemorrhoids, impotence, heart disease and even cancer.
"The U.S. government shouldn't ban this. It should be encouraging and funding scientific studies to see just how powerful a cure-all manure really is."
Lawmakers turn up their noses at that proposal, noting they've been swamped by calls from parents of teens addicted to manure-sniffing.
But angry Wingold declares, "Politicians can't let themselves be swayed by a bunch of hysterical know-nothings.
"Lives are at stake here."
It was in the early 1990s that recreational manure-sniffing first surfaced in the U.S., believed to have been brought over by Malaysian immigrants.
Enthusiasts say that breathing in fumes from fresh cow dung induces a natural high more potent than heroin or cocaine -- not to mention cheaper.
Since then, the craze has grown steadily, especially in the Southwest. Educators say they've seen the "corrosive effects" of the trend, claiming the manure-sniffing fad has led to increased truancy and vandalism.
"You'll see a bunch of kids cut class and head out back to the pastures," says a high-school teacher in Abilene.
"They come back with a glassy look in their eyes and a stupid smile on their faces. You look at their shoes and you know exactly what they've been up to."
But advocates of cow-pie snorting insist it has improved their health.
"I used to suffer from terrible acne and no medicine worked," says a 22-year-old manure user who asked to be identified only as Sam.
"Then a friend told me about sniffing cow manure and I thought, 'What do I have to lose?'
"After sniffing cow manure for six months, my acne cleared up."
Editor's note: Weekly World News does not endorse manure sniffing in any way, shape or form.
Always consult with your physician before sniffing cow manure.
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