Bribery. Yeah, that's brilliant, Doc. (By the way, you changed your example from "on time" to "early" in midstream.)
Another stupid suggestion from the idiot left. Teach your kids that unless they get something, they don't need to behave. That turns them into adults who won't do anything unless they are going to "get theirs".
My son is 7 and I have used spanking since he was in diapers. It is very rarely necessary. Of course when they are toddlers, the level of force required is just slightly more than a touch. A lot of it is the shock factor not pain factor. Simply being physically in control and visibly angry is enough to let the child know that it is time to behave. As my son has gotten older his spankings have decreased dramatically, and now, I don't really remember the exact last time he was spanked. I simply tell him to do something, and he does it.
Occassionally he will complain or argue. The first thing is to explain the situation logically in a manner the child understands. 90% of the time, that is all it takes. Even when the child wants something, they also want to please their parents and behave. It is only when they can't reconcile these 2 desires that problems arise. Once a child has learned discipline in their earliest years, the remaining 10% of the time can usually be overcome with a simple look.
My wife's friend has 2 boys my sons age, one 2 weeks difference, one a year younger. When they were smaller they used to come to our house for visits, and I used to let my son go there. Their mother uses the "please be nice or I'll say please be nice again" method of lefty discipline. Unfortunately, the kids have degenerated into literal monsters. I no longer allow them in my house, nor is my son allowed to visit them. The last time they came, they were so horrible, my son was totally uncomfortable. He couldn't figure out why they were acting so bad and he was visibly upset. It is sad that my son has lost 2 friends, but it is trageic that those 2 boys will grow up to be the worst kind of men you'll ever meet.
Spanking causes children to act out in violent ways.
Spanking as an accepted form of discipline/punishment has been seen in an every increasingly negative way since the late 60's.
Spanking by Parents and schools has decreased severly due to societal views becoming increasingly negative.
Today's children are much less violent and much better well-behaved than children who grew up while being spanked.
Oops, that arguement doesn't wash.
Let's try another.
Today's children are much more willing to accept the authority of a teacher and are much better students.
Oops, that arguement doesn't wash.
Let's try another.
Today's children are better socially adjusted and mature.
Yeah, that's it!
Wait, maybe it's because we pump them full of Ritalin and other such drugs.
So in conlclusion, while a pat on the bottom in anathema, pumping your child full of psychotropic drugs is a perfectly healthy way to modify your child's behavior.
Makes sense to me.
STOP THE TAPE! Are these secular experts or Christian experts?
Well, duh... It IS okay to hit under some circumstances. Where did we get this touchy-feely idea that violence is always bad no matter what?
He clearly delineates between correction and punishment (they aren't the same thing) and between teaching and training, as well as between innocent transgressions and rebellion.
These are important distinctions for parents to master. Some of the points Fugate makes:
1. Never hit a child with your hand. Hands are for loving, healing, protecting. Use a rod instead.
2. The rod is used to correct rebellion, not as a punishment. As soon as the child agrees with you that his/her behavior was unacceptable, you withdraw the rod.
3. As soon as the child repents of the rebellious behavior, you immediately forgive unconditionally, and love him/her real good and close.
4. Punishment should fit the crime IOW, if s/he breaks something, s/he fixes it or pays with his/her own labor to replace it.
This is such bull hockey. I was spanked as a child, and I grew up knowing it was not alright to hit other people (except of course, it was okay to spank My child.) My son was also spanked, and he doesn't go about hitting people.
It's the kids who never get real discipline and whose parents are obsessed with their child's 'self esteem' who have the self-control problems, Ms. Rubeck.
Conversely the "Greatest Generation" (they mostly did SPARE THE ROD) is responsible for the 'flower child generation'. They planted the seed for the Dr. FeelGood, do your own thing, do gooders that followed Dr. Spock et al religiously producing what we see today as the PC world gone amouk.
Of course this is just this one man's opinion, I could be wrong!!
The question of spank or not to spank is on the same level of the philisophical right and wrong. Today foolish people believe in relativism and do not believe in aboslutes and right and wrong. On different levels these are the majority of people that want a law to prevent any freedom and control and restrict all human behavior. Don't drink, don't smoke, don't speed, don't eat meat, don't own a gun, don't show God in any form in public!
Spanking is not punishment as much as it is deterrent. It is an action ment to convey to an individual that certain behavior is not acceptable and will result in a negative feedback. Children under the age of reason react to pleasure and pain. Food, shelter, warmth, comfort, and all their physical needs are the primary things on their minds. You can not reason with a 4 year old as to why an electric fan or a hot iron is not something to play with. You could let them injure themselves and discover it for themselves, but that is not parenting. They will remember the small discomfort of a gentle or forceful slap on the butt as a reminder they have over stepped the boundary or attempted something unsafe and will think twice before doing it again. They are not smart enough to be reasoned with nor can a stern look always accomplish what a spanking will. If they are stuborn or stupid they will try again and that is personality at play and eventauly as they get older it is good and evil at play. Yes, in some instances there are just plain evil people in the world that no amount of spanking, discipline, deterrence, will ever help. If they have no conscious or ability to understand or accept right from wrong and are phsycopathic than there is no cure.
There is a reason the Old Testament says to spare the rod will spoil the child. It is the fact that children never provided with the instruction of deterrence end up learning this lesson to late in life with more devestating results. That there are limits to socially accepted behavior, actions for public safety, and moral judgments.
Do all people have to spank? No, not if you are blessed with an intelligent angle or a child that never takes a risk or hardly explores their world or probes any of their limitations or limits. You are lucky. I was lucky and have two beautiful, loving, and charming young ladies for daughters. They learned to respect my voice and only once or twice when they were preschool age did I ever have to spank them and never again for the same reason. They learned the limits and they learned that I was consistant, loving, attentive, and looking out for their welfare and the families welfare and that my wife and I set the limits for acceptable behavior or acceptable exploration of life. They are go getters and not afraid of life and respect others. They are better than me and my wife in many ways. Not all people are the same. So don't tell me spanking is never allowed. Don't use the words always and never because these can only be applied by God who is perfect and only mimicked by the government which is always imperfect but thinks it is god.
They are using "discipline" in the verb tense. That gives more weight to their side.
RE: Sarasota, FL. a Downtown "Noise" Oridnance stops restaurants from featuring music outside at certain venues.
See? They defined the terms of the argument because it certainly isn't a "music" ordinance.
my six-year old doesn't need a "kid reason." he would care if i were tired... at six years, he does not believe the world revolves around him... he's not so enthralled in just himself...