Posted on 02/27/2002 4:34:02 PM PST by dubyaweluvya
A triple gold medallist who was kicked out of the Winter Olympics for failing a drugs test claims he is being told what to do by aliens.
Cross-country skier Johann Muehlegg said the mysterious beings have had a profound effect on his life.
"I have seen them," he declared, before insisting he had not taken any drugs.
German-born Muehlegg, 31, defected to Spain in 1999 - apparently on the instructions of the aliens.
He said: "I was contacted and told what to do by people from the other side.
"You might think it's funny but it has paid off. I'm now an Olympic champion and the record books will show it."
Muehlegg, who failed a second dope test on Tuesday, has only been ordered to hand back one of his gold medals - for Saturday's 50km.
"Hello, please defect to Spain."
The aliens are in Spain!
Don't you mean asteroids?
Sweet Jesus, this is wonderful! I might even believe him!
As much fun as all the drug and alien jokes are, why would they take one back and not all if any?
If the only explination is that they are a bunch of corrupt leftist bureaucrats, never mind I already know.
"And then THEY asked me to move to Spain. And then THEY asked me to change the music to my routine. And then THEY asked me to wear tighter performance pants".
This is the looniest toon yet!!!They're telling ME to really laugh hard at this guy! WOW! They're REAL!!!!!!!
I am eleventy-star general Mumbo hat Gumbo of the force-to-be-reckond-with. Give up your cheese. All your moose berong to us.
Hmmm...I wonder how this relates to the anti-WOD warriors. Hmmmm...
Wildwood Weed (Jim Stafford)
The wildwood flower grew wild on the farm,
And we never knowed what it was called.
Some said it was a flower and some said it was weed,
I never gave it much thought ......
One day I was out there talking to my brother,
Reached down for a weed to chew on,
Things got fuzzy and things got blurry,
And then everything was gone!
Didn't know what happened,
But I knew it beat the hell out of sniffin' burlap.
I come to and my brother was there,
And he said, What's wrong with your eyes?
I said, I don't know, I was chewing on a weed.
He said, Let me give it a try.
We spent the rest of that day and most of that night,
Trying to find my brother, Bill.
Caught up with him, 'bout six o'clock the next morning,
Naked, swinging on the wind mill!
He said he flew up there.
I had to fly up there and bring him down,
He was about half crazy .....
The very next day we picked a bunch of them weeds,
And put 'em in the sun to dry.
Then we mashed 'em up and chopped 'em up,
And put 'em in the corncob pipe.
Smokin' that wildwood flower got to be a habit,
We didn't see no harm.
We thought it was kind of handy,
Take a trip and never leave the farm!
All good things gotta come to an end,
And it's the same with the wildwood weed.
One day this feller from Washington came by,
And he spied and turned white as a sheet.
Then they dug and they burned,
And they burned and they dug,
And they killed all our cute little weeds.
Then they drove away,
We just smiled and waved ..........
Sittin' there on that sack of seeds!
Y'all come back now, hear?
Now you've done it. The moderator will have to add a barf alert to the thread.
Actually, just curling.
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