What's Worse Than A Dead Beat Dad?

"The Other Parent" website ^ | February 21, 2002 | The Other Parent website (Robert J. & Marie A. Baker, Jr.)

[Saundra Duffy]

God bless our families who are facing these terrible tribulations. It just tears people up. For victory & freedom!!!

[Saundra Duffy]

PING for my dear son who hasn't been able to see his kids for over three months now.

[Saundra Duffy]

Did you know that women can file FALSE report and get a restraining order and the poor Dad is left without a prayer?

[Saundra Duffy]

PING in hope this post will not die.

[Cogadh na Sith]

Did you know that women can file FALSE report and get a restraining order and the poor Dad is left without a prayer?

That's what my mom did to my dad.

She then moved her lawyer into the house my dad built. I was 13 and I asked to live with my dad. My mom's boyfriend lawyer motioned in court that I be psychologically tested to determine if I was 'competent' to make such a decision at 13. He claimed in court that my dad had 'warped' me against my mom.

Before I was allowed to live with my dad in a two room apartment after we were exiled from our own home, I had to spend my 8th grade summer being psychologically tested by a weirdo in birkenstocks and black socks.

[Saundra Duffy]

Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. When his ex found out my son is getting married, all hell broke loose.

[Billy_bob_bob]

I was raised by a single mother who was a war with my father. As a result I have not seen him in over thirty years. The good news is that I figured out what a evil harpie my mother was, and I have not talked to her in over twenty years. In fact, I have not talked to anyone in my family for over twenty years now, and I never will again. This is the legacy that divorce can lead to. Oh, and I don't have any kids, nobody is ever going to call this guy a f*th*r. This is the worst name I could ever think of being called, after listening to my harpie mother go on and on about "your f*th*r this" and "your f*th*r that". Bah. Families are highly overrated.

[Saundra Duffy]

Your post made me cry, pal. God bless you.

[Cogadh na Sith]

My Pop never remarried. He died while I was in the Army in Korea.

When he died, my mother came back and tried to get part of the inheiritance (not a fortune, just some land in NM) that he left me. I had to hire a lawyer and spend money to fight her off.

[freeeee]

This thread, and all of its replies are the best argument for abstinance I've ever heard.

[Tacis]

Wait until you get rid of this wife and get to the point of "mine, yours, and ours." Then you see how you start splitting them up. My view is that you are far less concerned with the children than you are with rubbing your former spouse's nose in it. There are real problems out there, problems that were/are way beyond the control of those involved. They are the ones that need to be fixed, not those where you are responsible for your own bad judgment and decisions.

[oil]

Maybe your dad wasn't so bad - just worn out from dealing with her. Have you not thought of looking him up?

[Ward Smythe]

I had to spend my 8th grade summer being psychologically tested by a weirdo in birkenstocks and black socks.

Ah, so now the picture becomes clear...;-)
Just kidding. From what I've seen you weathered that storm.

Shameless plug: A Father's Place

[Saundra Duffy]

So are you criticizing this post or what? What's your point?

[Saundra Duffy]

A Father's Place - Nice site. Thanks a million. Some people may find help and hope today. For victory & freedom!!!

[Billy_bob_bob]

No, because my mother poisoned me too strongly against him. If I ever met him my first question to him would be "did you ever have sex with your mother?" This is what my mother accused him of, among other things. You really wouldn't believe how she would go on and on about how rotten he is/was, sometimes for hours at a time. Just thinking about it makes me numb. Besides, he truly was a "dead-beat" dad, he never paid any child support at all. He didn't care about me, why should I care about him?

[Saundra Duffy]

You're a good Mom, obviously. God bless you.

[Cogadh na Sith]

Ah, so now the picture becomes clear...;-) Just kidding. From what I've seen you weathered that storm.

Whoa... Thank you very much. I owe all of my success (and even survival) to my Pop.

He was a great and wonderful man. I miss him greatly. I've read some of the articles you have posted from 'A Father's Place'--good stuff. It is impossible to overestimate the value of a father in a family.

All I had was my father and he made all the difference. We both knew it. I made sure that he knew how much I appreciated what he did for me.

I'm living now in the house he built. Perhaps in more ways than one....

[flada]

Don't knock up women that you don't intend to be married to permanently and you won't have these kinds of problems. Or conversely, don't be knocked up by a man that you don't intend to be married to permanently and you won't have these kinds of problems.

If you don't bother to learn about the character of your partner and your compatability with your partner prior to bearing children with him/her, then there are consequences for all parties... especially the children.