Posted on 01/09/2002 3:14:38 PM PST by untenured
Leni
The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Dough boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even till, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
I had the good fortune of knowing Avery Schreiber professionally -- a thoroughly delightful gentleman. And, not to dismiss his wife's observation, but Avery's real forte was dealing with children.
The Doritos commercials, he said, allowed him the financial freedom to do what he really wanted to do -- which was working with children. He and his wife ran a special school for children who had been disabled in some way...and Avery himself footed a large portion of the bill.
And when he came to my home for dinner one night, with all the ad and film guys, Avery spent most of the evening down on the floor, playing with my children -- then aged 5 and 3. They had a lot of fun...all three of them.
God blessed us with Avery Schreiber. Now, it's my turn to say a prayer for him. Not that he needs me to...
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