Snappy comebacks and one liners

strangecosmos

[damnlimey]

For all of us lacking in the witty repartee
and snappy come backs department ,some essential debating tools

[billhilly]

No thanks, but keep trying.

[Texaggie79]

In a pinch, the good old; "Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your mom" always works. George Castanza used the wife one.

[COBOL2Java]

Some good ones! But let us not forget the Godfather of the snappy comebacks and oneliners, Groucho Marx:

1. Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?
2. I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
3. There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.
4. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
5. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
6. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
7. You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

[tacticalogic]

I've always liked

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't run a pissant's go-cart two laps around a Cheerio.

[SolitaryMan]

Thanks, I needed that. Now if I can just figure how to bookmark this article.......

[damnlimey]

OUCH
Thank you sir,may I have another?

[3catsanadog]

He: So then, what's your sign?

She: Dollar.

[TomGuy]

If I were as intelligent as you, I'd probably think the same thing...but I earned an advanced degree.

[KayEyeDoubleDee]

Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares.

[horsewhispersc]

and I came to this thread to get educated! ;-)

[Texaggie79]

That's sooooo old. Try here's a quarter and a dime....... Call cost more now days

[damnlimey]

"and I came to this thread to get educated! ;-)"

That'll teach you.

[College Repub]

50 cents now on the east coast!

[stlrocket]

Along these same lines - Pointed Bumer stickers.

BUMPER STICKERS WITH A REAL MESSAGE - (CAUTION- COULD BE GRAPHIC)

[HockeyPop]

You've got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing.

[horsewhispersc]

LOLOL

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Here's one to use only if you can back it up;

"You'll never be half the man your mother was."

[KayEyeDoubleDee]

Are you currently accepting Your Mom insults, considering your opening with post#3? If so, I'm tempted to make a comparison with the cost of a phone call and a certain member of your family.

[billhilly]

OUCH Thank you sir,may I have another?...............And I thank you sir, for taking it in the manner that it was intended.