BUMP. Being "southern" means being a romantic at heart, that all people are inherently good, helping your neighbors, minding your manners because you think it's right, saying "sir" and "ma'am" and treating others with respect. Recognizing that others have the right to say and do thing that I disagree with, and that I may do the same.
Because of racists telling us what we can't do, I have purchased and wear "Dixie Outfitters" shirts, as do my wife and daughters, and bought two of the older (pre-politically corrected) Georgia flag. I'm also joining the SCV since my great-great grandfather fought and died in that war. He fought beside 3 of his brothers, and guess what, not a one of them owned a single slave.
I can count at least 8 ancestors that fought for the right of "self-government" in the Revolutionary War - among them men that served with Washington. In that War that we defend I can count over 30 ancestors that fought for "self-government".
It's a Southern thing, and Yankees just don't understand.
SOUTHERN TOURISM BUREAU COMMUNIQUE TO ALL VISITING NORTHERNERS AND NORTHEASTERN URBANITES:
1. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them they'll kick your ass.
2. Don't laugh at our Southern names. (i.e., Merlene, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, etc.) These people have all been known to kick ass.
3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here its called coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether its pepsi, RC, Dr Pepper, 7Up or whatever - its a coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
4. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies or we'll kick your ass.
5. We have plenty of business sense (e.g., fred Smith of FedEx, Turner Broadcasting, Wal-Mart, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgement (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumbenough t let someone move to our state in order to run for the senate. If someone tried to do that we would kick their ass.
6. Don't laugh at our /Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain abiout the carving we will kick your ass.
7. We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up, spend your money, and get the hell out of here - or we'll kick your ass.
8. Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will know instantly that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended - with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.
9. Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot and you will get your ass kicked.
10. Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited norther n hell holes like Dtroit, Chicago, and D.C., and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Take your ass on home before it gets kicked.
11. Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone or we'll kick your ass.
12. Don't complain that the south is dirty and polluted. None of our lakes have caught fire like scenic Lake Erie once did. Whine about our scenic beauty and we will kick your ass all the way back into Boston Harbor.
13. Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say "sir" and "ma'am", hold doors open for others, and offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilizede people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grannies or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.
14. So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense not to live in smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York, Baltimore, or St. Louis. Make fun of our fresh air and we'll kick your ass.
15. Last but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here trying to tell us how to cook barbeque. This will get your ass shot off (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our sacred barbeque, and you go home in a pine box - minus your ass.
One day I will encounter one of you southerners who will finally admit that they had a relative who actually owned a slave. One would think, judging from all the relatives mentioned on this forum, that slavery didn't exist and it was all a big mistake.