Don't mess with US Marines

A Taliban Army platoon was on patrol when the commander noticed a lone U.S. Marine standing on a hilltop in their area.
The commander told two of his soldiers to go take out the Marine, so they dropped their packs and promptly ran as fast as they could toward him.
Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The two soldiers followed. For the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop.
He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers.
The infuriated commander called for a squad to go get the Marine. They promptly ran as fast as they could toward him. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The squad followed, and for the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hilltop.
The Marine brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the Taliban soldiers once again.
The commander was really hot now. He ordered the rest of his platoon to attack the Marine. Determined that Taliban soldiers were far superior to one lone Marine, they had blood in their eyes as they ran up the hill.
Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The bloodthirsty soldiers followed. For many minutes there were horrific screams and dust flying in the air. It continued and continued. Finally, one lone Taliban soldier came crawling back to the commander, all bloody and beat about the head and shoulders. His uniform was torn, cuts were all over his body. The commander asked for a report. The lone soldier, trying to catch his breath, replied in a forceful and trembling voice:
"Sir,...run,...it's a trick. There are TWO of them!!"

LOL...Reminds me of the the time General Custer was surrounded by Blackfoot Indian warriors. The odds were bad ... two against one hundred, but Custer had guns and the Indians had only bows and arrows, so they fought through the night,,, and the next day ... and ultimately Custer won. Bleeding and exhausted he limped to his tent where he was interviewed by the local media.

"How did you pull it off, General? I thought you were toast!"

"Well," Custer replied, "we were fighting for our lives ... but I have to hand it to them ... they were the toughest two Indians I've ever seen."

It was late at night as the Pope, who had just departed this world, was approaching the gates of heaven. There was no one around, but there was a small shack just prior to the gates with a light on. The Pope stepped into the shack and startled a young man half-asleep sitting at a small steel gray desk.

“Excuse me” said the Pope, “but I’m supposed to check in here with St. Peter, but there is no one at the gate.”

“Yea, Yea” said the young man, “where are your orders?”

“I don’t have any orders,” said the Pope.

“Well, its too late to check in tonight anyhow” said the young man. “Just go around to the back of this building, find a rack and dump your trash in a locker. St. Peter will be here in the morning and you can check in then.”

The Pope grabs his stuff and walks around the building only to find a W.W. II style open bay barracks. The racks are stacked three high and the only open one is all the way at the end of the building and it’s on top. He drags his stuff to the end of the building but there is no locker for him. He takes a deep breath, thinks about it for a minute and decides that this is just one final test. He crawls up into his rack and falls asleep. Suddenly he is awakened by a loud commotion outside the barracks. As he walks outside he sees a huge crowd of angels cheering and clapping as a gold convertible limousine approaches. As it draws nearer the Pope sees a guy in flight suit and Marine leather flight jacket in the back seat with a beautiful angel on each arm, a beer in his hand and he is smoking one of the biggest cigars the Pope has ever seen.

The Pope turns to young man who checked him in and asked, “Who is that guy?”

“A Marine pilot” the young man replied.

The Pope says, “ I don’t get it. I worked hard all of my life to do God’s work on earth. As a young man I studied hard at the seminary, as a priest I labored long and hard to tend my flock and provide guidance when they strayed. I struggled as a bishop to serve the church and as Pope I was able to attract more followers of the faith. Yet, when I reach heaven, St. Peter isn’t here to greet me, I have to carry my own bags, I get stuck in the top rack of an open bay barracks and I don’t even have a locker for my bags!”

The young man looks at the Pope and says “Look, we get a Pope every 20-30 years, but this guy is the first Marine pilot who has ever actually made it to heaven!”

GI HUMOR - Army Slogans that didn't make it

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