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Microsoft Haikus
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Posted on 11/06/2001 11:56:47 AM PST by Cicero

Microsoft Haikus

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5; syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. The essence of Zen:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crash'd.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No-one hears your screams.
-------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it work'd.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.
-------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
-----------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
----------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
------------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-----------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: techindex
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1 posted on 11/06/2001 11:56:47 AM PST by Cicero
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To: Cicero
Bump. These things crack me up! :))))
2 posted on 11/06/2001 12:01:27 PM PST by HIDEK6
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To: Cicero
You are big dummy!
Computer is not booting?
Remove your floppy!
3 posted on 11/06/2001 12:03:16 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Cicero
Bruck' (& Mrs. Bruck's) fave:

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

And from a similar list:

Keyboard not present
Press F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

4 posted on 11/06/2001 12:04:39 PM PST by VoiceOfBruck
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To: Cicero
BUMP! These are great!
5 posted on 11/06/2001 12:06:21 PM PST by EggsAckley
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To: Cicero
So you cannot print?
Did you log on the network?
Second time today!
6 posted on 11/06/2001 12:08:58 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Cicero
And while we're at it, check out dog haiku:

http://www.yuckles.com/doghaikus.htm

7 posted on 11/06/2001 12:09:27 PM PST by VoiceOfBruck
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To: VoiceOfBruck
Cannot find Disk C:
Insert floppy boot disk; pray
For enlightenment.
8 posted on 11/06/2001 12:11:50 PM PST by Cicero
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To: Cicero
What is your password?
Write it on yellow Post-It note
Like the others do
9 posted on 11/06/2001 12:12:28 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Cicero
Computer locked up?
Your mouse is frozen again?
Try closing Napster

Hey, Haiku Tech Support! I like it.

10 posted on 11/06/2001 12:15:22 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Cicero
Can't log on today?
No matter 'cause all your base
are belong to us.
11 posted on 11/06/2001 12:19:28 PM PST by Freemyland
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To: Cicero
Can't get MSN?
It's all a conspiracy
Don't tell Dominic
12 posted on 11/06/2001 12:22:29 PM PST by danneskjold
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To: Cicero
Printer has a jam
My resume is in there! Here comes the boss now
13 posted on 11/06/2001 12:23:23 PM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Cicero
Posters all panic
When the Free Republic site
Can't be posted to
14 posted on 11/06/2001 12:42:08 PM PST by danneskjold
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To: Cicero
You want me to help

Then you disappear again

What is your password?

15 posted on 11/06/2001 12:44:59 PM PST by renosathug
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To: Cicero; CheneyChick
All forms of Windows
Offer the blue screen of death...
Mac OS saves me.

Windows shows pictures
hung upon the wall of DOS,
falling frequently.

16 posted on 11/06/2001 12:45:02 PM PST by Mr. Thorne
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To: RikaStrom
) ))))) ping!!


17 posted on 11/06/2001 12:47:26 PM PST by Constitution Day
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: Mr. Thorne
Thinking of clever reply
Mind is blank
Curse blonde moments
19 posted on 11/06/2001 12:50:01 PM PST by CheneyChick
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To: Cicero; innocentbystander; Bush2000; SamAdams76
DOJ settles
Microsoft rejoices
LINUX will tremble
20 posted on 11/06/2001 12:51:35 PM PST by Incorrigible
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