In the army we used beretta 9mm which I really like but my new beretta 45 rocks. 8 round mag in the 45 versus 17 in the 9mm but if you can put steel on target 8 rounds of 45 is enough. If you live close to a range you can sometimes rent a weapon and try out a few types to see if you like one better than another. I grew up in farm country and have had lots of weapons training, if you haven't please please for your own safety get some training from a qualified source.
Taurus Millenium PT145. .45 cal, compact enough to wear inside the waistband, and
10+1 rounds very light for a .45 at 23 oz. and the double stack mag necks down to a single stack at the feed point for no feed problems.
For all those guys out there like myself who bought .40 (in my case a SW-99 which is a flawless weapon and a Keltec .40 for very small carry in the summertime.) to split the difference between 9mm (extra rounds) and .45 knock down power, why split the difference between my 10 round .40 when I can have a 10 round .45 that weighs the same and is shorter for better IWB carry?