Exclusive: Anne Heche Interview-Anne Heche tells of sexual abuse

ABCNEWS.com ^ | September 05

[Teacup]

Anne Heche says the sexual molestation she suffered at the hands of her father caused her to escape into a "fourth dimension" fantasy world in which she believed she was from another planet.

"I'm not crazy," Heche tells 20/20 on Wednesday in an exclusive interview with Barbara Walters. "But it's a crazy life. I was raised in a crazy family and it took 31 years to get the crazy out of me."

In the wide-ranging interview, Heche, 32, talks about her childhood, her career, her relationship with Ellen DeGeneres — she says her first night with the comedian was "the best sex I'd ever had" — and new love Coleman "Coley" Laffoon, a 27-year-old cameraman whom she married on Saturday.

Heche, promoting her new book, Call Me Crazy (Simon & Schuster), says she's had lifelong battle with mental illness.

"I had a fantasy world that I escaped to. I called my other personality Celestia," she explains. "I believed I was from that world. I believed I was from another planet. I think I was insane."

Her Father's Secret Sex Life

Heche traces her problems back to her father. Donald Heche, a choir director in a Baptist church, began sexually abusing his daughter when she was still a toddler, she says.

"He raped me … he fondled me, he put me on all fours, and had sex with me," says Heche, qualifying that the abuse is only "in my memory."

"I think it's always hard for children to talk about abuse because it is only memory. I didn't carry around a tape recorder … I didn't chisel anything in stone … Anybody can look and say, 'Well how do you know for sure?' And that's one of the most painful things about it. You don't."

She says she contracted herpes from him. "I had a rash, I had sores, I had welts on my nose and on my lips," she says.

,b>Heche did not learn that her father also had homosexual encounters until 1983, when he was dying of AIDS . When she learned he had the disease, she feared for her own life, she says.

To get away, Heche says, "I drank. I smoked. I did drugs. I had sex with people. I did anything I could to get the shame out of my life."

Heche also began acting, playing twins on the soap opera Another World from 1988 to 1992.

By the time she was 25, Heche says her personality had begun to fragment, shattering into moments of madness. Celestia, her other personality whom she believed was a reincarnation of God, spoke a different language and had special powers.

"You name it, I could do it. I could see into the future. I could heal people," Heche says. "I don't know where it came from. I was, in my mind, learning it from God."

Falling in Love: First Steve, Then Ellen

Having been abused as a child affected her adult relationships, she says. For two years, she dated actor/comedian Steve Martin, 24 years her senior. Heche says she thought she had found love with him.

"I wanted the love of an older man. I wanted comfort. I wanted humor. I wanted all of the things that he offered," she says. "Why did we break up? There's wasn't anything wrong with Steve. It was just that it was not what I wanted to commit my life to."

Then, in 1997 on Oscar night, she says, "I saw the most ravishing woman I had ever seen in my life standing across the room. Her name was Ellen DeGeneres. She was radiating. I think at certain times in people's lives you just radiate an energy and a glow of fabulousness. And that was her. I had never seen anybody so lit up."

They slept together that night. "Up until that point, that was the best sex I'd ever had," says Heche, who says she had never before had sex with a woman. "I felt cared for … I felt free to express a part of me that I had not been able to express with a man. I felt sensuous and sexual in a way I hadn't before."

DeGeneres' sitcom character was about to announce her homosexuality, and soon Heche and DeGeneres would become America's most prominent lesbian couple. But behind the united front they presented to the world, there were difficulties.

"Ellen knew everything," Heche says, including her identity as Celestia, and her belief that she could speak to the dead.

Their three-year relationship ended in August 2000. The day after the breakup, Heche was found wandering door-to-door in Fresno, Calif. She ended up in a stranger's back yard, deeply confused.

"I was told to go to a place where I would meet a spaceship. I was told in order to get on the spaceship that I would have to take a hit of Ecstasy," says Heche, who adds that she is not a consistent drug user. "Fresno was the culmination of a journey and a world that I thought I needed to escape to in order to find love."

That day, Heche says, she regained her sanity and began to put the fragmented pieces of her life in place.

"I'm here … I could not be more elated with my life," says Heche.

'You Fall in Love With a Person, Not a Sex'

Heche met her new husband while working on a documentary about DeGeneres. She denies that the new relationship hastened the demise of the old one.

"How do you put into a sentence why you break up with somebody?" asks Heche. "We had gotten to the point where we were not happy together anymore. We had become isolated from the world, together."

Heche says she does not label herself straight, gay or bisexual — and that Laffoon understands her. "He's an extraordinary guy," says Heche. "He's one of the few people I've ever met who actually embraces the same notion about sexuality that I do … which is that you love who you love. You fall in love with a person, not a sex."

She adds: "I would never limit myself to saying I would be with a man or a woman."

Heche sees herself as a survivor. She's starred in such movies as the remake of Psycho and Six Days, Seven Nights , with Harrison Ford. She now says she has a TV comedy in the works.

"I think everything I've done in all my insanity was to try to get my parents to love me," she says. "My father loved movie stars. I decided I needed to become famous to get his love. My mother loved Jesus. That was her thing. So I wanted to become Jesus Christ."

As an adult, Heche says she confronted her mother about her father's sexual abuse. "She hung up the phone on me," Heche recalls. "To have gone through so much work to heal myself and have my mother not acknowledge in any way that she was sorry for what had happened to me broke my heart."

20/20 tried to contact Heche's family for comment. Susan Bergman, the actress's older sister, said the family had not yet read Heche's book or seen the interview. Bergman said they plan to issue a statement that will be posted on the Internet after they watch the interview Wednesday night.

Heche says she wrote Call Me Crazy to say goodbye "once and for all, to my story of shame and embrace my life choice of love."

"The fact that there are people hearing my story is the icing on the most beautiful cake in the world, that I imagine says, 'Happy freedom, Anne. You have made it to the other side.'"

Rebecca Raphael contributed to this report.

[Teacup]

Celestia, her other personality whom she believed was a reincarnation of God, spoke a different language and had special powers.

Yeah WELL! I think their called demons?

[isthisnickcool]

Celestia,P>

Celestia? Isn't that the stuff they tried on potatoe chips and it gave everyone the runs?

[Teacup]

Yep! I think you are right. Funny how she blames her behavior on stuff her dead father did. Do you think she's related to the Condits? Or maybe they drink the same Kool aid?

[Liz]

Yeah, she has two personalites alright.......and they're both cravenly opportunistic. This dork'll do or say anything
necessary to advance herself and her carreer. When liking Ellen didn't do it, she decided to go elsewhere.

[George Smiley]

My wife and I watched most of it and agreed that Heche is nucking futs.

As if one could just decide that a major psychotic episode is "over".

[Teacup]

Didn't Rosanne say the same thing? Geesh, these woman are nuts!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

She adds: "I would never limit myself to saying I would be with a man or a woman."

Oh heck, why limit yourself to just humans? Why not go for plants, animals and farm machinery?

If you want to know how Steve Martin really feels about Anne Heche, watch Boldfinger and pay attention to the blond girl who's name totally escapes me right now. It's a really funny movie.

[kattracks]

From the NY Daily News

Heche Expecting Baby

Anne Heche, the eyebrow-raising actress noted for her very public, 3 1/2 year romance with lesbian comedienne Ellen DeGeneres, is pregnant.

Heche, 32, who just married her high-society photographer boyfriend Coleman (Coley) Laffoon on Saturday, dropped her latest bombshell last night as part of her interview with Barbara Walters on ABC-TV's "20/20."

"Anne Heche called me just the other day to say she's three months' pregnant," Walters said at the conclusion of the interview.

This past week has been a huge one for the "Wag the Dog" actress. On Saturday, she got married at her Hollywood Hills home.

Then yesterday, her autobiography "Call Me Crazy," debuted in bookstores nationwide.

It was capped off last night at 10 with her one-on-one with Walters, during which she revealed that her father, who died in 1983 of AIDS, raped her. She also said she has cut a deal with Warner Bros. for a new TV comedy show.

Joanna Molloy and Maki Becker

I guess it's safe to assume that Ellen is not the father?

[caisson71]

OK, I will. She's crazy!! Put her away before she multiplies.

[L.N. Smithee]

Celestia? Isn't that the stuff they tried on potatoe chips and it gave everyone the runs?

Potatoe?

You're no Jack Kennedy.

[DoughtyOne]

Ann seems like a real work of art.  All her soiled past is the result of someone else's actions, not her own.  I don't discount the impact of abuse.  I'm sorry for her if it happened.  But when you become an adult, you are responsible for your own actions.  At 21, or at least by 25 you should be able to rationalize the proper way to conduct yourself as an adult.  Then the descisions that are made become your own.  Ann seems to state that she never took ownership of her own decisions until earlier this year, at 32 years of age.

Ann seems to state that she has a direct link to God.  Celestrial or whatever the exact name is her earth guide?  Does this stink like new world religion to anyone other than myself?  It's rather unclear.  I get the impression that Celestrial is Ann's second personality.  If so she's actually one up on the NWR people.  Her spirit guide actually lives within her.  If you buy this "stuff" then I suppose we should bow on bended knee when Ann passes.  She spends some of her time at the right hand of God.  She must be devine.

If you look at the lifestyle Hollywierd worships today, Ann is the epitome of perfection.  She is a bi, homo, hetero sexual person.  If at some later date we find that she has male genitalia as well as the female variety, she would undoubtedly be a prime candidate for universal diefication.  Then stand back.  Make that way way back.

Ann has parlied her non-name status and inability to act into a national presence.  No need to dwell on the fact that there's nothing to support this.  Hollywierd can always come up with a plot now that they have such a major player.  Whatever the outcome, I won't be going to see the movie version.  Ann's a little too perfect for the base individual I opted to be in my early twenties.  I guess it's my loss hugh.

For he record I didn't watch the interviews.  It was all I could do to stay away.  The suspense was just killing me.  I'm sure you know what I mean.  I did see Babwa Wawa and a few other blurbs in the media about Ann's book covering her insanity.  Frankly I think Ann has a few more chapters in her, if you catch my drift.

[Cincinatus]

watch Boldfinger and pay attention to the blond girl who's name totally escapes me right now.

ROFL!! You mean "Bowfinger"?? Anyway, that was Heather Graham.

[stayout]

20/20 tried to contact Heche's family for comment. Susan Bergman, the actress's older sister, said the family had not yet read Heche's book or seen the interview. Bergman said they plan to issue a statement that will be posted on the Internet after they watch the interview Wednesday night.

Does anyone know where Ms. Heche's relatives' comments are posted?

[KSCITYBOY]

***To get away, Heche says, "I drank. I smoked. I did drugs. I had sex with people. I did anything I could to get the shame out of my life."**** I guess acting like a whore and a drunk will remove all the shame from one's life. What a deal... I saw parts of this interview and it was painful to watch --- not because of her pain --- but because of her 3 year old type approach to life. I now am sure that being a Hollywood type should garner no more respect than a skid row bum deserves.....

[Teacup]

My mother loved Jesus. That was her thing. So I wanted to become Jesus Christ."

UHHH, I think it's called wanting to be Christ like. That is the definition of a Christian. What a nut case. But do you see the underlying tone here? He father was a baptist chior director??? Those evil, evil, religous types!!!

[Teacup]

She hasn't met a person she doesn't like? LOL, and i don't mean as a friend.

[alloysteel]

Anne Heche did not come and say the abuse had taken place - only that she remembered it taking place. Interesting phenomena, these "phantom" memories. More than a few fathers (mothers, too, in some cases) have be endlessly and wrongly vilified by a daughter who "remembered" sexual abuses that only were recalled when visiting the therapist who planted, then enlarged, on the concept. Occasionally with younger children, but more often, when the daughter had become an adult, and things were not going so well with her life. So the helps she seeks takes her to this "therapist" who discovers surprising things about her and about her earlier, "forgotten" life, when the parental figures take on a mythic, magical dimension.

Is there no way to halt this mischief or somehow undo it?

[PuNcH]

He father was a baptist chior director??? Those evil, evil, religous types!!!

And the mother couldnt protect her child. So the child was raped, childhood murdered, mind crushed.

Do you think the demons might be responsible for all this?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

That's it!! Bowfinger. I thought it was really funny. I am NOT an Eddie Murphy fan, but my sides were aching.

Heather Graham, you got that one correct as well.