I Love Her, But..... (a collection of men's thoughts on their women)

Doug's Funnies ^

[SAMWolf]

.... we've been married 28 years and I still love her butt!
--SAMWolf, Oregon

[green team 1999]

good posting ha ha ha ha.

[glock rocks]

lady glock ran out of gas on the side of a very busy
highway with the kids. when i showed up to help her, here
was her statement...

“it couldn’t be out of gas... the light didn’t come on.”

ya gotta love ‘em.

[NittanyLion]

... have you ever seen a woman with green crust and slime smeared over her face, dark holes for her nostrils? Do you think you'd be able to sleep at night, knowing that creature is next to you?
-Arthur, Cedar City, Utah

LOL.

[Sunshine Sister]

What a hoot. I just sent this to all my friends who have all been married much longer than I have. I'll bet they have had all of these thoughts at least once in their married lives! Thanks for the post!

[Illbay]

Some of these are weird but...

Man, how I love my woman! EVEN the weird "stuff" she does. One night without her and I'm no good at all the next day.

I'm absolutely, positively addicted.

[stevem]

This is verbatum, a direct quote.

Once, on a hot summer day, when we were trying to find a bridge across the St. Croix River to Minnesota after spending a weekend at a friend's cabin in Wisconsin she said to me, "Why did you come this way if you knew you were going to get lost?"

The thought flashed across the vista that there would never be a jury in the land that would convict.

We also have been married nearly 28 years.

[TEXASPROUD]

Great post. We're 29 and counting, the youngest just graduated from Basic at Lackland AFB, now at Keesler AFB. After raising kids for 27 years I told her, "Now I get to run around the house naked again."

Her answer? "That's a scary thought."

My reply? "Wrong answer, you're supposed to say, OH BABY!"

[SAMWolf]

My wife has a habit of waiting until I come back from shopping, recycling the soda cans, bank trip or dropping off one of the kids someewhere, then as I walk in the door saying:
"Would you mind picking up some _________ (fill in the blamk) from the store?"

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

[Springman]

OMG yes!!! Every time I go to the $&#**^% store I ask "Honey I hve the list is there anything else?" The answer is no. Then I come home...

[Springman]

OMG yes!!! Every time I go to the $&#**^% store I ask "Honey I have the list is there anything else?" The answer is no. Then I come home...

[Barak]

?it couldn?t be out of gas... the light didn?t come on.?

My daughter once called me from forty minutes away and said the car had died and she and her buddy needed me to come pick them up. On the way home, I asked her how the car had died.

"It just quit," she said.

"Were there any lights on on the dashboard?"

"No."

"How did it quit? Did it die suddenly? Did it cough and choke and wheeze and finally just not catch again? Did you gradually lose power until you realized the engine was dead? What happened?"

"No, it pretty much just quit," she insisted.

"Were there any flickers that you noticed from the dashboard lights while it was in the process of quitting?"

"Nope," she said again.

"Hmm," I said, thinking. "How about before it died? Were there any strange sounds or smells that you noticed, or anything unusual you felt?"

"No, nothing like that," she said.

"And you're sure there were no lights on on the dashboard?"

"I told you, there were no lights on! Except the TEMP light, of course, but that's only because there wasn't any water in the radiator."

I was stunned almost speechless. "...because there...What??!"

She sighed with obvious exasperation at having to explain something so elementary. She spoke with exaggerated slowness and precision: "Be-cause there was-n't an-y wat-er in the ra-di-a-tor. It all ran out on the driveway when I first started the car!"

"You knew this, and you drove the car anyway?"

Another exasperated sigh. "I was only going to the movies with Rachel!"

And so on. Ah, well--it was her car, not mine. Trouble is, it's a 1979 Pontiac Firebird in pretty nice condition with a 5.7L V-8. At least one of the heads was warped, and the car hasn't run since then.

[Marauder]

You ever notice the way she can be completely done with everything she has to say, then as soon as you leave the room she calls your name out, so you have to turn around and walk back in to see what she wants now?

Like my old man said, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

[Ancesthntr]

...she doesn't understand that sound travels. When she calls me, I have to come to where she is to see what it is she wants. I love coming all the way across the house from the kitchen, just to have her ask me to get her a glass of juice from the #%&*@*& kitchen

...she doesn't think that my time is worth anything. I come home from work tired, but G-d help me if I want to sit on my butt for an hour or two and watch TV. And when I do that, not only do I almost always end up watching her shows, but then she gets pissed later that I didn't do anything that night.

[M. Peach]

” Like my old man said, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.. "

You can’t live with them and you can’t kill them…..

[A.J.Armitage]

... every so often boom she's a brunette. Or I come home to a redhead. Actually, I have no ideawhat her natural color is.
--Cary, Seattle

He has seen the carpet, hasn't he?

[Sir Gawain]

ping

[Sir Gawain]

some people have wood floors.

[A.J.Armitage]

True. Also, she might be very thorough in her dye jobs.

[windcliff]

ping