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Karl Marx to Resign, Ditch Legacy Due to Sexual Misconduct
Frontpagemagazine ^ | December 11, 2017 | Oleg Atbashian

Posted on 12/11/2017 5:05:27 AM PST by SJackson

Doctrine of class conflict and communist internationalism now in dire jeapordy.

The father of scientific socialism and an inspirational figure to many leading Democrats, Karl Marx has announced that he is resigning as a seminal thinker and is asking all his followers, especially women, to forgive him and forget his doctrine of class conflict and communist internationalism due to allegations of sexual abuse of his female aide and a criminal conspiracy to cover it up.

In his remarks, the author of the Communist Manifesto stated, "This decision is not about me. It's about the workers of the world. It's become clear that I can't both continue to deal with my history of sexual misconduct (some of which I remember differently) and at the same time remain an effective messianic leader of the oppressed in their struggle against capitalist exploitation."

Marx continued, "As a white cisgendered heterosexual male, I have cheated on my wife, sexually assaulted my subordinate, and otherwise abused my power and privilege to hurt and victimize women. I therefore feel that I no longer have the right, nor the moral authority to defend my philosophy of class victimization, to incite class hatred, provoke violent anti-bourgeois revolutions, and establish proletarian dictatorships."

The pressure on the leader of the exploited masses to step down has been mounting for days, ever since the New York Times broke the story about how Mr. Marx, a husband and a father of three, sexually exploited his longtime family maid, Helen Demuth. Fearing to lose her job in a volatile capitalist economy, Ms. Demuth yielded to her employer's sexual harassment. What started as inappropriate touching and groping, soon escalated into what legally amounts to sexual assault in the workplace, which continued daily for years in Mr. Marx's home, where Mrs. Marx and their daughters also resided.

According to The New York Times, the repeated sexual abuse of Ms. Demuth by her employer, compounded by the unavailability of women's health services, resulted in the birth of a male child. Fearing that this would destroy his reputation of a rebel against bourgeois morals, Karl Marx organized a conspiracy to cover up both the affair and the baby. His co-conspirators were his close friend and collaborator Friedrich Engels and Ms. Demuth - a powerless victim who was intimidated into silence by the men in positions of power.

The conspiracy involved abandoning the child, Freddy Demuth, who ended up being one of the many fatherless inner-city clients of foster care. Upon discovering the truth, Karl Marx's wife, Jenny Marx, committed suicide. Their daughter, Laura, killed herself several years later.

Some House Democrats called on Karl Marx to leave office last Thursday, increasing pressure on the veteran revolutionary thinker to abandon his theories of social justice and economic equality amid serious allegations about his sexual transgressions, child abandonment, the cover-up, and infidelity that caused his wife and daughter to kill themselves.

Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tried to defend Mr. Marx by blaming the attacks on Prussia's meddling, adding that "Karl Marx is an icon in our academia." Even if some of it is true, she said, "this episode only shows us how essentially human Marx is. He has the same fears, despairs, and guilts that afflict everyday Americans. That doesn't mean, of course, that we can equate Karl Marx with Donald Trump or Roy Moore."

On Monday, however, more than half of the Democrats in the Senate, including party leadership, called for Marx to step down, fearing that "creepy" evidence of his duplicity and hypocrisy might tarnish their political futures and weaken efforts to unseat President Trump.

"I consider Karl Marx a beacon of progress and greatly respect his accomplishments, but he has a higher obligation to his followers, and he should step down immediately," Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said in a statement.

In a change of heart, Pelosi later clarified her position. “Zero tolerance means consequences for everyone,” she said at Tuesday’s news conference. "No matter how great the legacy, it is no license to harass or discriminate. In fact, it's even more disappointing."

Some observers have pointed out the historical inevitability of Marx's downfall as the leading political theorist, whose teachings about a worldwide conspiracy of oppressors against their victims have given birth to modern feminism, without which renouncing Karl Marx's legacy due to his sexual misconduct and his overall creepiness would have been impossible.

TOPICS: News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
Not happening. It's one thing to dump Al Frankin. Even to criticize Bubba and his wife. But Marx, he can do as he wishes.
1 posted on 12/11/2017 5:05:27 AM PST by SJackson
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To: SJackson

Is this a joke? I’m confused. That creep died back in the 80’s

2 posted on 12/11/2017 5:13:46 AM PST by New Jersey Realist ( (Be Nice To Your Kids. They Will Pick Out Your Nursing Home))
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To: New Jersey Realist

1883, to be exact.

3 posted on 12/11/2017 5:16:56 AM PST by jjotto ("Ya could look it up!")
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To: New Jersey Realist

Pretty sure it is satire...

4 posted on 12/11/2017 5:19:29 AM PST by DennisR
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To: New Jersey Realist

The 1880’s that is. 8>)

5 posted on 12/11/2017 5:19:49 AM PST by Robert DeLong
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To: SJackson

This is amusing and clever but let’s not forget the reality:

His ideas led to the deaths of more human beings than did the ideas of Rachel Carson. And that’s a very high bar.

But it’s true. Marx beats Carson in total body count.

6 posted on 12/11/2017 5:22:15 AM PST by samtheman (Liberalism is a mental disease.)
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To: SJackson
Their daughter, Laura, killed herself several years later.

Actually, that's a pretty gruesome story. She was seduced by one of daddy's married commie buddies, who kept her as a mistress for several years, all the while telling her he couldn't get a divorce from his wife. Eventually she found out that he had been divorced for some time and was engaged to another woman. When she confronted him, he feigned remorse and convinced her to enter into a suicide pact with him. She drank the poison first, then he just got up and left her to die.

The same guy would later serve as a poll bearer at Marx's funeral. Ain't the brotherhood of socialist revolutionaries just grand?

7 posted on 12/11/2017 5:37:59 AM PST by SeeSharp
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To: SeeSharp

The interwoven part of this satire that is true is the basic facts concerning Helene Demuth. Engels did take on the illegitimate son as his own for political purposes (as best we can tell from this well known pack of liars and sociopaths).

8 posted on 12/11/2017 5:42:56 AM PST by oldplayer
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To: samtheman

If I could time travel, going back and beating the living crap out of Marx would be on my list. How anyone can still revere this guy (or ever did) is beyond me.

9 posted on 12/11/2017 6:52:36 AM PST by neverevergiveup
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To: oldplayer

“The interwoven part of this satire that is true is the basic facts concerning Helene Demuth. ...”

The forerunner of, Heterodoxy Magazine was a print periodical started by David Horowitz in the early 1990s. Most content was factual material - modern and historical - about the depredations of the Left in American and international politics and culture, to the ruin of society.

To call attention the growing absurdities of PC, the staff composed fictional columns, printed on the back page of each issue, taking real laws, government regulations, and Left/Progressive diktats a baby step farther, to their logical conclusion. And how they affected fictional characters in an all-too-foreseeable manner.

The columns were reprinted in book form, about the time Heterodoxy was re-published. If memory serves.

10 posted on 12/11/2017 1:08:48 PM PST by schurmann
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