Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Police hunting 'mystery pooper' defecating on park slides
Ann Arbor News ^ | April 04, 2014 | Tom Perkins

Posted on 04/04/2014 7:27:32 PM PDT by Second Amendment First

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-67 last
To: Second Amendment First

Have they checked to see where the Occupy Wall Street freaks are at, they are known for taking dumps on city streets


61 posted on 04/04/2014 9:50:24 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: g'nad; Ramius; osagebowman; Squantos; TalonDJ
Ping for any of you who are familiar with this custom in the US Navy. This squid wanna-be must be enjoying the thrill of the chase if he's been doing it during this brutal winter, and often. Of course, he may have a pre-packaged payload in a plastic bag, and just drop or toss it during a casual walk-by, like a spy working his dead drop in broad daylight. :)

I was terribly disappointed that this was only happening in Ypsi, Ann Arbor's no-class (as opposed to low-class) neighbor. Still, this could be one of America's elite, getting in training for Occupy-Something-Ritzy, which leaves out all of Michigan.

This has been kept a secret all this time, but warmer weather makes things harder to keep covered. Maybe this sudden publicity will inspire copycat poopers, or this guy may randomize his attacks to make it look like more than one person, and confuse the scent.

However, under no condition should this be done anywhere near a mosque. Two summers ago, a dhimmi tossed out a bag of ripe pork offal, obtained as a treat from the butcher for his dogs, that he forgot for a week in the bed of his pickup. It was 3AM on a dark and twisty Oakland County back road, and he figured he'd at least give the woodland vermin a treat.

Unbeknownst to him, a few feet away was an almost-invisible gravel path that turned into a well-manicured, prosperous mosque on prime lake shoreline. And his bag of critter-treats landed on the property line between the putting-green-lawn, and the trashy lot next to it.

The groundskeeper discovered the surprise before any critter did, the next morning as he started his Friday morning mowing. It became front page news in print media, and lead stories online, all over Michigan by dinner time. It also had about seven different police jurisdictions, media types, FBI, DHS, State (federal, not East Lansing), community leaders, and several unidentified brands of community leaders wringing hands, or flaming away, on both sides of the cameras. Although there was no further hard evidence being released, there were prominent front-page blurbs for several days reminding Michigan about it, including the imminent formation of a federal inter-agency task force to catch the criminal or criminals involved. "Tea Party" and "Republicans" were the only "usual suspects" mentioned by name.

Around next Thursday, Joe Pickup, who was livin' the good life in Michigan by working three part-time jobs, managed to catch the daily search update. He thought the description of the countryside sounded familiar, since he took that road often. Then it dawned on him that HE was the perp, and kill-on-sight orders had already been given through the FBI to any sheep-dipped SOF or contractors, who would have been the "federal advisers" that didn't have names, and nothing to do but hang out in generic OD green BDUs with generic body armor, and vey high-end weapons and electronics.

Joe Pickup didn't want to be Ruby-Ridged, and hoped they hadn't been able to task any armed UAVs yet, so he arranged a very public, and media-accessible, surrender in a suburban park close to major civilization. The on-site federal command authority even had all the streets and intersections around the park blocked off to allow good camera access for ground and air crews.

After telling his story consistently over a dozen times, and with dozens of character witnesses, and another bag of fresh(er) pork leavings for his dogs that he picked up from the butcher, everyone laughed and proclaimed it a silly misunderstanding, and everyone left to turn in their rental cars and aircraft, or their agency airlift assets.

In the print version of the wrap-up, an unnamed spokesperson for an unnamed federal agency admitted that everyone enjoyed a good, harmless laugh at the end, with no hard feelings. And this was a "teachable moment" to show how smoothly and intensively government agencies would work together had it been the "real thing".

62 posted on 04/05/2014 2:52:07 AM PDT by 300winmag (Whatever CAN go wrong has already happened. We just don't know about it yet.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 61 | View Replies]

To: MeshugeMikey

OWS vermin ran out of cop cars to crap on?


63 posted on 04/05/2014 8:49:45 AM PDT by Organic Panic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Organic Panic

Occupy Playground must have decided to Launch In Ypsilanti Michigan...


64 posted on 04/05/2014 8:55:41 AM PDT by MeshugeMikey ( "Never, never, never give up". Winston Churchill)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: Second Amendment First

65 posted on 04/05/2014 10:25:25 AM PDT by SoFloFreeper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Second Amendment First

A ‘serial pooper’ on the loose in Houston was caught on camera
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/a-%E2%80%98serial-pooper%E2%80%99-on-the-loose-in-houston-was-caught-on-camera-200646270.html


66 posted on 05/08/2014 3:39:53 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Second Amendment First

Update!

Police unmask 'mystery pooper' who regularly defecated on Ypsilanti park slides

Tom Perkins | Special to The Ann Arbor News By Tom Perkins | Special to The Ann Arbor News on May 14, 2014 at 5:33 AM, updated May 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM

Ypsilanti’s children’s slides are free and clear of feces after the Ypsilanti Police recently identified a suspect in their hunt for the notorious "mystery pooper."

Ypsilanti Police Chief Tony DiGiusti confirmed the department made contact with an individual believed to be the “mystery pooper” who regularly defecated on the same slide in Prospect Park between November and April.

DiGiusti said there have been no further incidents since contact was made with the individual and he declined to provide any further details on the case. No charges were brought against the individual.

Council Member Pete Murdock, who is also head of the Friends of Prospect Park, said the suspect is a resident of a nearby halfway house. He said he isn’t sure what clients are housed there.

Feces were found on the slide so frequently that police set up a camera in a nearby tree to help catch what some city council members during the investigation dubbed the “mystery pooper.”

Council Member Brian Robb said he hopes "we can just put this behind us."

"This whole saga has generated a lot interest in Prospect Park from around the country. It's great that the police were able to put a stop to this just as the weather warmed up," he said.

Murdock, who represents Ward 3 in which the park is located, previously expressed amazement that the individual would commit the act during the bitterly cold winter months and described the defecations as “weird and deliberate.”

City department of public works employees were tasked with wiping down the slides.

In January, DeGiusti sent a communication out to YPD officers about the incidents.

“We have a problem in Prospect Park with a miscreant that does not understand the difference between a children’s playground slide and a toilet,” the email stated. “Apparently this extremely misguided individual feels the need to defecate on the slide despite the cold weather. This has been an ongoing problem at this location. Please make frequent checks in the area and record them on your daily log.”

Murdock said he believes the park slides will remain safe and sanitary.

"I think if the person is put out of commission in terms of what they were doing, they should be safe," Murdock said. “I haven’t heard of any incidents since all the to-do,” he said.

The mystery pooper became something of a local celebrity after The Ann Arbor News broke the story and it went viral on the Internet. Local band Black Jake and The Carnies wrote a song about the mystery pooper, a fake mystery pooper account popped up on Twitter and a billboard requesting residents "Do your civic doody” and "Help us catch the 'poopetrator'” appeared on Interstate 94.

"Let's just hope there aren't any copy cat crimes," Robb groaned.

67 posted on 05/15/2014 4:59:44 AM PDT by csvset
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-67 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson