Down a 5th Patrick. Everything will be all better.
“Patches opens mouth = hilarity ensues.”
Patches ought to take a couple of Ambien and go for a ride then everything will be forgotten.
“When your father told the Pope in his 2009 letter that he supported a conscience exemption for Catholics in health care, he did not mean to put himself on the opposite side of the church...”
Dear Pope,
Now that I bought my way back into the Church, I was wondering do you guys still have, what do you call them, indulgences for sale? Money’s no object here. I’m in a position where I could probably even get an earmark from the US Congress and hide it under the funds directed to my eternal memorial center being planned in the Boston Arch Diocese.
Hey, this is a win-win. You can divert the funds to anywhere you want and it doesn’t cost me a dime AND I get to stay out of hell.
Let me know what you think.
Sincerely,
Ted Kennedy
Dear Senator Kennedy,
I would suggest that your trust fund allocations include companies that make fire-retardant materials.
Signed,
The Pope
Good one. I liked Scott’s reply.
Wasn’t there a group called the Drunken Kennedys?
What does a failed Congressman with no appreciable skills, diminished intellect, and zero personality do to keep himself entertained or pertinent? If he doesn’t look in the mirror everyday and say to himself, “What a total loser I am, I should jump off a building so I will be remembered for something I did.”
bookmark