Skip to comments.Time For Some FRunnies: Actual Comments From South Carolina Troopers To Stupid Drivers
Posted on 02/02/2011 7:28:17 AM PST by MindBender26
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right lady, we don't. Sign here."
So...cops can be as big a smart ass as the people they arrest. Like we didn’t know that already.
The only South Carolina state trooper I ever dealt with was years ago when we saw a car go off I-26 near Orangeburg and roll over into a ditch right in front of us. The two people in the car, a young USAF airman going back to Charleston AFB and his wife, were uninjured and the four or five cars’ worth of bystanders who had pulled over (me included) had gotten them out without incident.
So here comes the trooper, howling up the shoulder at a solid 75 mph...slams on the brakes to slow down, veers *right* off the shoulder onto the sloped and wet grass embankment, passes all five pulled-over cars ON THE EMBANKMENT DRIVING SIDEWAYS AT 30 MPH, guns it back up onto the hard shoulder slinging dirt, and screeches to a halt. He then proceeded to rudely dismiss all of us who offered ourselves as witnesses to what happened. I wasn’t impressed, though in fairness, he was quite young and looked like he was pretty new at the job.
Now I’ve dealt with Virginia troopers a few times, growing up there. They’re very professional. They’re very polite. And no, they’re not going to let you out of that ticket.
Mass troopers, all attitide.
PA, total pros.
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
If your goal is to piss off a citizen then that’s the way to do it. I would just as soon that not be the goal of police I hire.
Driver: But everyone else was going the same speed!
Officer: Have you ever been fishing?
Driver: Um, yea, why?
Officer: Did you catch all of the Fish?
I got tagged by a local yokel in NMB for passing a car on the right that was moping along ahead of me (obviously a lost tourist). He was pretty cool. I plead my case and he let me off with a warning. Must’ve taken pity on the Yankee tourist who was down there spending his money.
The thing is, to get out of a ticket you have to make the cop laugh. I was stopped once for speeding (65 in a 55). I told the cop that at my age my memory isn’t all that good and I wanted to get where I was going before I forgot where I was going. No ticket. Cop was laughing all the way back to her car.
Maybe it’s just me but I don’t find police acting like arrogant jack a**es all that funny.
I would just as soon that not be the goal of police I hire.
Maybe it's a question of 'point of view'.
Most cops are used to the FACT that 99.99999 percent of the people they pull over for something, WILL LIE TO THEM.
As a driver, it is your RESPONSIBILITY to know how fast you are driving at all times. That is why the car has a speedometer and why there are Speed Limit signs.
Personally, I have had more success by just TELLING THEM THE TRUTH. One of the most notorious 'hanging' judges in the county let me off with a $100 fine (I was doing 105 in a 55) because I told the truth. I had told the cops and the judge the same story. I also told them I had been going a lot faster than 105 before I crested the hill where they nailed me with radar.
It must be you. You cannot imagine the crap Police must put up with.
That excuses it then.
Yes but the topic is not how to act when you interact with police. The topic is the hilarity that ensues when a cop decides to be a comedian with a citizen.
My sister is a cop - she has a simple rule
Write a ticket or shew out a driver. Never both. Chew someone out AND give them a ticket and you can count on a formal complaint being filed.
And ya, yukking it up with a cop is not my idea of fun.
(shrug) THey can be as funny as they want off-duty.
I once had a SC trooper in a unmarked car stop me for passing on the right (actually on the shoulder of the road). He was going to give me a ticket but let me off with a warning when I explained that I normally didn’t do that sort of thing but I would have crashed into the rear of his car if I didn’t. (He had decided to make a quick left turn off the highway.)
I told one that I didn’t see the stop sign because I was busy watching for pedestrians in the crosswalk. He let me go.
He asked me to clarify, I told him we had just finished wrapping presents and I was going to bed when my wife told me I needed to get milk. When I asked why, she told me you can't have Christmas without milk.
He looked skeptical and asked if I was driving home from a party. I said no, I was getting milk.
He looked at me and said “Show me the milk.”
I reached down pulled up a gallon of milk.
That is the only speeding ticket that I've gotten out of in my life.
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