Of the hemorrhoid or heartburn variety? hahah (j/k - took me a minute to realize what you meant)
Been having a blast reading this thread: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2646465/posts Seriously...some of the comments on it are priceless!
Dear Lord.
Seriously, somebody needs to do something about their OCD man crush. Maybe attaching jumper cables to the ears will help...