I'm so far to the right, I'm writing myself in as county coroner November 2nd, 'cuz the only one on the ballot for it here is a Dimocrat (perfect for stealing the pennies off a dead man's eyes). Besides, I had a dozen hours of Bio in College, and my brother-in-law can field clean a buck like nobody's business, so I figure between the two of us, I can probably say convincingly, "Yup. Looks like he died of a gunshot wound."
Feel free to write me in if you're in my district.
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away, for his name is Obama."