I am NOT trying to pick a fight or stir trouble - but as a non-Catholic looking in I have NO idea what “Catholic” does or does not mean anymore, in any cultural, doctrinal or philosophical sense.
I don't blame you at all. You've been tormented, as we all have, by two different "engines" running in opposite directions: the engine of "doctrine" and the engine of "discipline."
Catholic doctrines ( as taught, for instance, in the Catechism) are correct and wholesome and intellectually splendid and blessedly coherent; Catholic discipline has been, overall, and for the term of my entire lifetime, wretched.
That means that anybody can say anything, no matter how distorted or mistaken, and not face even a nominal rebuke from those who have the authority to do so: I'm talking about bishops, the principal "supervisors" of the Church.
As a result, well-meaning people both within and outside of the Church are baffled or disgusted.
The Bishops are not using the authority which is rightly theirs,as the New Testament says, "to bind and to loose," to "correct, rebuke and encourage," to communicate where they can, and excommunicate where they must.
And where we do have good shepherds --- my own bishop, Richard Stika of Knoxville, is a good one; Benedict XVI the Bishop of Rome is a very good one --- they face the incessant opposition of the wolves within the fold: you could well say, "wolves in shepherds' clothing."
I have hope, because I am convinced that God still wears the crown in this Church--- though it's a crown of thorns. It's an active battle, and it's going on right now, a battle with no neutrals: every person will ultimately have to go beyond "observing": every person will have to get in there and fight.