Beam me to Planet Gore !
Posted on 11/30/2009 1:09:27 AM PST by JohnHuang2
As Air Force One heads to Copenhagen for the climate summit Dec. 9, it will presumably not make a U-turn while flying over the Climate Research Unit (CRU) at University of East Anglia near Norwich, England. But perhaps it should Continues...
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Questions loom regarding whereabouts of Global Warming
Despite global temperatures having fallen every year since 1998, administration sources insist that proof of Global Warming of Massive Destruction (G-WMD) will be found.
Climate scientists and officials of the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) have scoured the planet, searching for proof of G-WMD, but no proof has been found. With the Copenhagen summit just one week away, teams of U.N. warming inspectors have made no progress in the hunt to uncover proof of G-WMD in the last round of inspections.
Moreover, recently disclosed e-mails from Britain's Climate Research Unit seemed only to fuel lingering uncertainty over whether the Earth faces imminent ecological disaster, weather permitting. Claims of the threat posed by G-WMD were, for the most part, based on intelligence reports from the CRU.
The leaked CRU documents, involving damaging e-mail exchanges and computer files, showed that intelligence was 'sexed up' with falsified data and statistics in an effort to influence the IPCC in its march to War on Global Warming. The damaging e-mail disclosures sparked fear and anxiety that global catastrophe may not happen after all.
The new developments in the ever growing ClimateGate scandal, which threatens to further weaken Obama's case that G-WMD is a threat, come even as renowned climate expert, Al Gore, reported on the Tonight show that, according to his thermometer, temperatures in the interior of the Earth are already well into the millions of degrees, threatening to turn the Earth into a star at any moment, adding a sense of urgency to reaching an agreement at Copenhagen.
"The interior of the Earth is really hot," Gore told Conan O'Brien, adding that his instant-read thermometer, inserted deep into the planet without touching the bone, registered "several million degrees, and the crust of the Earth is hot."
Additionally, believers in the imminent threat of G-WMD cite CRU intelligence reports in which G-WMD is blamed for warm weather in the Southern Hemisphere during the Northern Hemisphere's winter months and warm weather in the Northern Hemisphere during the Southern Hemisphere's winter months. It is also believed that balmy weather in Florida can be traced to increase concentrations of greenhouse gas emissions resulting from Tiger Woods's SUV.
"It's settled science!", yelled one administration source, screaming on condition of anonymity, adding that final proof of global warming will "eventually be found." Irrefutable evidence of G-WMD, central to the administration's argument for war on incandescent light bulbs, "will be uncovered but it may take time," added another top administration source, also speaking on condition of anonymity. "Is it a surprise that proof of global warming has not been found? No. Would the evil force that steered Katrina into New Orleans -- Karl Rove -- engage in a highly elaborate deception plan to trick U.N. warming inspectors? Of course. How else do you explain no rise in global temperatures during the Bush years when Rove gained control of the weather? How about blizzards conveniently occurring everywhere Gore happens to have a speaking engagement? Don't be fooled."
Expectations were raised when Obama, in a widely covered address last year, asserted that his election would be the "moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal." One senior administration official said "those 16 words should never have been included in the text written for Obama." Not before cap and trade is even passed. But Joseph Wilson, known for exposing the administration's faulty words, told Obama in response, "You lie!". As for the author of those 16 words, the same official insisted that William Ayers has since apologized. "It was a mistake," the official quoted Ayers as saying. The White House had hired Ayers as a consultant on climate issues, having once been a Weatherman himself.
Anyway, that's...
My Two Cents of corny satire
"JohnHuang2"
Monday-mornin’ ping!
Might be corny, but it made me smile. :)
Fox, Rush, Beck, and others should use it.
corny satire
Attempts at satire do sometimes fall flat - but this time you have nailed it!Congratulations - this could go viral!
BTTT
Lemme guess.
It's a rectal thermometer inserted at Chicago.
Nice touches tying the leading buffoons to the issue(s).
Like shooting fish in a rain barrel skewering such miserable miscreant liar-thieves. LOL
Thanks for the ping c_I_c. LOL John! Thanks for all of the articles you have posted over the years in addition to your 2 cents worth.
Great work! 1909-S VDB & 1914-D BUMP!
bttt
I’ve been calling it GWMD for a while now; the hyphenated word does add authority, like Hillary Rodham-Clinton...
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6936328.ece
In the words of the Times (UK) Online:
"SCIENTISTS at the University of East Anglia (UEA) have admitted throwing away much of the raw temperature data on which their predictions of global warming are based."
So "peer review," "transparency," "freedom of information," "consensus," and so forth, have become literally impossible.
I don't see how anybody can dispute that.
When do Copenhagen and the UN announce "It's all over"?
When do the criminal indictments begin?
Give that man/woman their Nobel Peace Prize now. No need to wait for accomplishment.
Do we really suppose that anyone can construct a database of weather observations for the entire planet and its atmosphere adequate to make confident predictions of weather and climate 60 years from now? Predictions in which we have enough confidence to impose enormous costs on the American and world economies?
Or do you suppose that those who want to dominate the world by first destroying its social order, you know - those who want government run healthcare so they can tell everyone what to do with even the smallest details of their lives, the ones who would bankrupt the USA, and therefore the world by creating crisis after crisis to impose more draconian government control - would go one step further and create a climate crisis in order to control all business activity?
Motives are tricky things to surmise so the choice is yours.
Another keeper!!
...weather permitting and if the cricks don’ rise.
Loved Cheney’s speech to the press dinner in Spring a couple of years ago when he said, “Absolutely true that temperatures are going to rise. It’s called Summer.”
Excellent, excellent wrap-up! Thank you!
I'll second that emotion!!
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