Yes, EVERYTHING is Zero-sum!
Zero-sum Happiness : if you’re having a good day, try stapling your hand to the desk... it will make someone else’s day brighter... in fact, you ought to go around being a shit-head just to further enhance your own happiness.
Zero-sum sanity: Obviously DC proves that this is true... as there appears to be NO ONE there that can anticipate consequences of actions.
Zero-sum wealth: If you have money, that means someone else dosen’t! How dare you be so selfish! Never mind that you could, say, hire someone and thereby “spread the wealth” in a action/reward manner.
Zero-sum safety: Consider leaving explosives near your furnace and covering your stovetop with old, dry newspaper. Also, you may want to soak any exposed timber/studs in oil. Remember that sharing is caring, so be sure to leave fun “trails” to your neighbor’s house!
Most philosophizing is stupid, isn’t it?
Is Mr. Self a college professor or working at a think tank by chance?