Buletin! Buletin! Government Stops Noah From Saving World Again. Film At Eleven !

[MindBender26]

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over -populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living species along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

"I needed a building permit from the city and permission from my neighborhood association to have a Recreational Device in my yard."

"I've been arguing with the Fire Department inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My across-the-street neighbor claims I've violated the zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the County Zoning Appeal Board for a decision." "Then the State Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl." "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, the Friends of the Earth sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work."

"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."

The EPA won’t let me close up the hull and make it watertight until I prove the animals waste won’t be pumped overboard, and no one knows how to make animals poop into a closed circuit toilet system.

The Coast Guard wants lifejackets and lifeboats for everyone. How do you get a hippo into a lifejacket?

The SEC has stopped us because they are afraid we are taking more than $10,000 out of the country.

Homeland Security won’t let anyone or anything on the Ark until they pass through a metal detector, and where do you find metal detect ors big enough for elephants or giraffes? They won’t let anyone on board until they take their shoes off for the metal detector scanning. How do the snakes and the fish take off their shoes?

Also Honeland Security won't let anything aboard if their name in on the no-fly, no-sail list, and some cat named Kennedy must have screwed up, becuase I can't get our cat named JFK aboard.

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 20 years for me to finish this Ark."

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow appeared, stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?

"No," said the Lord. "The GOVERNMENT beat me to it."

[MindBender26]

Enjoy

[bzybee]

That is great.

[A_Tradition_Continues]

Buletin?

[LiteKeeper]

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