Howie column ping
For Petrolati, crooked is as crooked does
By Howie Carr | Sunday, April 13, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
Who put the rocket in Petros pocket? Thats the question at the State House: Who dropped - not a dime, but a bomb - on the Speaker pro tempore of the House of Representatives?
It seems that Tommy Petrolatis contributors list is larded with gangsters, bookies, extortionists, bank fraudsters, tax cheaters, cash-skimmers, witness-tamperers and embezzlers.
To which there are two responses at the State House: No. 1, Thats Petro. And No. 2, Thats Springfield.
Yet Petro somehow hangs on. I mean, Speaker Sal DiMasi even invented this new phony-baloney title of speaker pro tem to keep his greasy-haired protege from Ludlow in the chips. But Petro has paid his dues, or as his most loyal plug-uglies would say, made his bones.
He went up before the federal grand jury that indicted the previous crooked speaker, Felon Finneran, and told them he did not know which river the Mystic-Tobin Bridge spanned. He was not indicted; the grand jury decided that he was, in fact, that stupid.
What saves Petro is that the Legislature, in its own dysfunctional way, really is a family. And Petro is a member of that family - the family dog. But the problem is that hes always growling at the familys other flea-ridden hound, Jolly John Rogers, the majority leader.
You might even say Petro is a problem dog, the kind that eventually pees on the rug once too often. That time is now for Petro, and it is time to find him a new home . . . in the country.
The leadership would love to do a Nagle and ship him out to a nice, obscure little courthouse sinecure in the Golden West, like they did with former majority leader Bill Nagle. Alas, this latest episode with the gangsters will scotch that. As hopelessly corrupt as the Massachusetts judicial system is, the last thing it needs is another Jackie Bulger. Sal DiMasi cant be thrilled either: Petros organized-crime pals are yet another reminder of his own past associations with the likes of Vinny the Animal and Joey Y.
And by the way, whats up with Petro getting $500 from mobster Frank Colantoni? Colantoni says a friend asked him to pony up. I always thought the rule was that if youre going to shake down hoods for cash, you instruct them to find citizens to make the actual contributions, not vice versa.
Petro must not have gotten that memo. But he doesnt seem to get a lot of memos. He also misplaced the one on Brylcreem - the one that said A little dabll do ya.
Given his dodgy record, not too many golden-parachute options remain for Petro. Perhaps a tollbooth on the Mass. Pike with a surveillance camera. He wouldnt be the first Petrolati on the Pike payroll, thats for sure.
But the news isnt all bad for the Vitalis Kid. Things are starting to look up for his closest political allies and contributors, the Asselin family. His great friend, ex-Rep. Chris Asselin of Springfield, is getting out of prison on June 15. And Chris Asselins wife, Merylina, who was also indicted in the corruption case, just scored a massive Bulger-like hit on the public mammary.
She is grabbing $210,000 in back wages from her job at Chicopee High School as a guidance counselor, now that the federal charges against her have been dropped.
Before his incarceration, Rep. Asselin was working as, what else, a lobbyist. Convicted of bribery, theft and mail fraud, hes at least as big a crook as his fellow lobbyists Felon Finneran or Good Time Charlie Flaherty - plus he actually did time. I think once he gets sprung from Club Fed, ex-Rep. Asselin should reopen his lobbying office, just like his fellow felon Finneran is doing.
And could there be . . . room for one more?
What a perfect fit: Petrolati & Asselin Global Strategies. Youse have made the right decision to use us. Stop me if youve heard this one before.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1086796
I really wish some big news would break — lately we’ve had an unbroken stream from Howie of details on the corrupt low-lifes that run this God-forsaken state! I can’t take much more . . .
Oh man. Howie is a great writer.