Howie column ping
For Petrolati, crooked is as crooked does
By Howie Carr | Sunday, April 13, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
Who put the rocket in Petro’s pocket? That’s the question at the State House: Who dropped - not a dime, but a bomb - on the “Speaker pro tempore” of the House of Representatives?
It seems that Tommy Petrolati’s contributors’ list is larded with gangsters, bookies, extortionists, bank fraudsters, tax cheaters, cash-skimmers, witness-tamperers and embezzlers.
To which there are two responses at the State House: No. 1, “That’s Petro.” And No. 2, “That’s Springfield.”
Yet Petro somehow hangs on. I mean, Speaker Sal DiMasi even invented this new phony-baloney title of “speaker pro tem” to keep his greasy-haired protege from Ludlow in the chips. But Petro has paid his dues, or as his most loyal plug-uglies would say, made his bones.
He went up before the federal grand jury that indicted the previous crooked speaker, Felon Finneran, and told them he did not know which river the Mystic-Tobin Bridge spanned. He was not indicted; the grand jury decided that he was, in fact, that stupid.
What saves Petro is that the Legislature, in its own dysfunctional way, really is a family. And Petro is a member of that family - the family dog. But the problem is that he’s always growling at the family’s other flea-ridden hound, Jolly John Rogers, the majority leader.
You might even say Petro is a problem dog, the kind that eventually pees on the rug once too often. That time is now for Petro, and it is time to find him a new home . . . in the country.
The leadership would love to “do a Nagle” and ship him out to a nice, obscure little courthouse sinecure in the Golden West, like they did with former majority leader Bill Nagle. Alas, this latest episode with the gangsters will scotch that. As hopelessly corrupt as the Massachusetts judicial system is, the last thing it needs is another Jackie Bulger. Sal DiMasi can’t be thrilled either: Petro’s organized-crime pals are yet another reminder of his own past associations with the likes of Vinny the Animal and Joey Y.
And by the way, what’s up with Petro getting $500 from mobster Frank Colantoni? Colantoni says “a friend” asked him to pony up. I always thought the rule was that if you’re going to shake down hoods for cash, you instruct them to find citizens to make the actual contributions, not vice versa.
Petro must not have gotten that memo. But he doesn’t seem to get a lot of memos. He also misplaced the one on Brylcreem - the one that said “A little dab’ll do ya.”
Given his dodgy record, not too many golden-parachute options remain for Petro. Perhaps a tollbooth on the Mass. Pike with a surveillance camera. He wouldn’t be the first Petrolati on the Pike payroll, that’s for sure.
But the news isn’t all bad for the Vitalis Kid. Things are starting to look up for his closest political allies and contributors, the Asselin family. His great friend, ex-Rep. Chris Asselin of Springfield, is getting out of prison on June 15. And Chris Asselin’s wife, Merylina, who was also indicted in the corruption case, just scored a massive Bulger-like hit on the public mammary.
She is grabbing $210,000 in back wages from her job at Chicopee High School as a “guidance counselor,” now that the federal charges against her have been dropped.
Before his incarceration, Rep. Asselin was working as, what else, a lobbyist. Convicted of bribery, theft and mail fraud, he’s at least as big a crook as his fellow lobbyists Felon Finneran or Good Time Charlie Flaherty - plus he actually did time. I think once he gets sprung from Club Fed, ex-Rep. Asselin should reopen his lobbying “office,” just like his fellow felon Finneran is doing.
And could there be . . . room for one more?
What a perfect fit: Petrolati & Asselin Global Strategies. “Youse have made the right decision to use us.” Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1086796