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Mumbles’ eloquence speaks for itself
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, January 16, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com

Forget last night’s State of the City speech. Mayor “Mumbles” Menino always tries to put his best foot forward once he crosses Local 718’s annual picket line at the Strand.

But where you can really observe Mumbles in real-life form is on the cable-access channel. In Boston, “Wayne’s World” is Mumbles’ World. This is where he addresses the issues that are on his mind, so to speak, or should I say, misspeak.

Once he presented himself to the electorate as the “urban mechanic” laboring in the urban garage. But that was many elections ago and many failed municipal transmissions and radiators, none of which was covered under the warranty. Now, in his golden years, Mumbles has morphed into a veritable de Tocqueville, to use two words he has never heard.

All dialogue guaranteed verbatim, and you can listen to almost all of the sound cuts for yourself at bostonherald.com. As Mumbles opined recently:

“Right now in America, we have the most complacent American citizenry we have ever had.”

America, how does that make you feel, America?

Crime is of course a major problem, right, Mumbles?

“A lot work has to remains to be done.”

But surely City Hall is in the forefront of ending the scourge of crime.

“My administration,” he says, “has also taken steps to impl-, com-complement your services through initiatives such as the violence intervention and promotion protection prevention - I’m sorry, program.”

Recently the mayor mentioned illegal immigration. He’s had enough of this mean-spirited talk about aliens and their crimes and welfare dependency: “It is a yesterday’s issue,” he said, and then mentioned someone else in the room who was born in a foreign land.

“We here because of some others guys too - what’s his name? Ortiz? I think he just ahhhh went back to the ahhhh Dominican Republican.”

That’s right, the Dominican Republican. Not to be confused with the Springfield Republican - a newspaper. Or the Belmont Republican - Mitt Romney.

Oh sure, Mumbles has got his problems with the local jakes - you saw it in yesterday’s Herald. Thank God, no firefighter temporarily working in a higher pay grade slipped on an ice patch last night in Uphams Corner, twisted his ankle and suffered a tragic career-ending tax-free disability. At least not that we know of - yet.

But don’t worry, this labor dispute will end the way they always do in Boston. Mumbles will cave. Because he listens to 718.

“Many human union members and many of their families have come up to me in the last couple of months.”

Also, presumably, many of the non-human members of the local as well, although they weren’t mentioned.

The mayor just wants to make sure all Bostonians are safe this winter, and that means keeping space heaters safe.

“Remember that space heaters need space.”

Sometimes on television at night, Mumbles is just there, in front of a podium, suddenly talking in an unknown location. Like during this recent peroration:

“It’s humbling to think about the important causes and movements that got start, their start, in this halls decades and decades ago.”

Yes, he said “this halls.” Not to be confused with ‘these hall.”

A Renaissance man is Mumbles. He loves attending the music festivals that make Boston the world-class city that it is, unless of course gunfire breaks out.

“We had thousand and thousand of folks, great music.”

Now that the State of the City address is history, Mumbles should take a long vacation. I hear the Dominican Republican is nice this time of year.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1066800