First off, I would wipe that punk-ass look off his face by burying a pipe wrench in his skull. Then I would throw him in the car and drive him 50 miles outside of town, in the middle of nowhere, and leave him there.
“drive him 50 miles outside of town”
In England, that’s just another town (a few towns down).
On the plus side, I see a booming market for blokes selling addresses to us yanks. I just got one I’ll be staying at next year:
6969 Dimple-on-Chodesrump
Nether Fluffington
It sounds wonderful.