She needs to live for herself, not for everyone else. My mom stayed home with me and I am better for it. However, we did not go to Disney, or even an occasional dinner out. We lived within our means and I think (and this is very biases) that I turned out better than my daycare peers.
I respect those who can stay home. My wife and I just couldn’t manage it on my salary. She taught, so she has summers off, and I worked one day on, two off, so I stayed with them a good percentage of the time. Even so, we had to hire a babysitter for a couple days a week. Doesn’t always turn out the way you want, but the kids turned out fine. I don’t think having a babysitter was the least bit damaging for them.