Posted on 10/28/2007 9:21:34 PM PDT by PaulZe
I received this in an email from a liberal friend
To be a Republican you need to believe:
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a 'we can't find Bin Laden' diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
15. Supporting 'Executive Privilege' for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
17. Supporting hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
The willing suspension of disbelief.
The problem appears to be with having a liberal friend.
How about talking about how liberals are pushing gay marriage? They are all in favor of gay marriage, but the liberal feminists believe that marriage is a patriarchal institution which keeps women in their place. So in other words, they think women shouldn’t be married, but that of course all gays should get married.
To be a Democrat...you have to believe:
Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.
The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.
Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.
Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are “political opportunism,” but calls for more gun control after a criminal’s spree killing is “a logical solution.”
“It Takes a Village” means everything you want it to mean...except creeping socialist government involvement in the nuclear family.
Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.
Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.
Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn’t Christianity.
The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they’re thought of often.
Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you’re the governor of California, but it’s okay if you’re the President of the United States.
Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.
Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.
The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt’s Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded “reasonable precautions.”
We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.
Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation’s socialized medical community can’t provide.
Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
John Lott’s research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book “Arming America”).
Bush’s toppling the Saddam regime was a “diversion,” but Clinton’s lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was “sending a message.”
A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies’ intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn’t pass in any legislature.
“The People” in the First Amendment means The People; “the People” in the Fourth Amendment means The People; “the People” in the Ninth Amendment means The People; “the People” in the Tenth Amendment means The People; but “the People” in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).
You support a woman’s “right to choose” to kill her unborn child, but don’t believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.
Proven draft-dodging is irrelevant, but baseless claims of AWOL status is crucial to national security.
Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura’s and Rush Limbaugh’s advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS’s “The Reagans” and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.
Darn ... you were ready for the question apparently. ;)
Well written
Thanks! But it was from google. Google is your friend.
;-)
To be a Democrat, you have to believe
Executing a serial killer is wrong, but killing an innocent baby is okay
America is a terrible place because so many people are desperate to get in, but Communist Cuba is a wonderful place because so many people are desperate to get out
Racism is wrong, except when it’s affirmative action, then it’s okay
Spraying a rapist with pepper spray will stop him every time, but shooting him with a .357 will just make him mad
Hitler was a great guy until he attacked Uncle Joe Stalin
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
O.J. Simpson & the “real killer”
I am a reasonable Liberal
America is a great place... but we need to be more like Europe.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I love America... except for its history, its culture, its societal structure, and its politics.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I hate politicians that lie... unless they have a last name of Clinton... or Kerry... or, well, any Democrat’s last name.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I think everyone should have their say... unless they say it in school, government, or in public.
I am a reasonable Liberal
Your belief in religion is just fine... unless it's seen in school, government or in public.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am for free expression, though... except for the conservatives on talk radio or FOX News. THEN I want a law that limits their speech.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I think entertainers should be allowed to do or say anything they want... unless it is that TV show "24"... That thing is dangerous.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am for fairness for all... and, if you have a job, you should pay to make things "fair" for people who won’t get one.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am also for making sure minorities get a good job...even if I have to make sure whites don't.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am against guns... unless it means taking them away from my bodyguard.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am for showing mercy to killers, but also for killing babies in the womb.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am against big oil... need a lift? I have an SUV and a private jet.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I am for wind farms and alternative energy... unless the means to it blocks the view from my beachfront home.
I am a reasonable Liberal
I love my fellow Americans... except for the religious ones, the southern ones, the conservative ones, the law abiding ones, the traditional ones, the old ones, the Midwestern ones, the white ones, the gun-owning ones, the flag loving ones, the ones with children that they are actually raising themselves, the ones who work for a living, the ones who don't want to be in a union, the truck driving ones, and the female ones that stay at home.
I am a reasonable Liberal
And most of all I am for love. And if you don't like it I will get a bunch of my friends that don't have jobs, surround your house, throw rocks through your windows, spit on your military sons, burn your cars, and then sue you if you try to fight back.
And it's all because I am a reasonable Liberal.
You have to read this TE
That’s excellent!
I’d like to add that I would rather go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney than on a car ride with Ted Kennedy.
Secondly, even if I agreed with many of those points - though not with the conclusions - what does it say that I am still a republican? What does it say that I wouldn't be a liberal, even if it meant conceding or somewhat compromising with most of the items in that list?
They would assume some stubbornness or conditioning at work, or plain stupidity. But an honest liberal would know that they are the very reason conservatives exist.
Tell your friend to look in the mirror. Perhaps they may see clearly the foolish, living spectacle that divides us.
Tell your friend to not hurt himself (or herself) patting themselves on the back.
I’m a little pumped from the Red Sox win, so I need to shoot some fish in a barrel.
To be a Republican you need to believe:
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Actually, there are Jewish Republicans, Muslim Republicans, and atheist Republicans. Few Republicans hate homosexuals—look at how Freepers feel about Fred Phelps. Most Republicans do have problems with gay marriage, based on our respect for the wisdom of tradition. And we oppose Hillary Clinton because of the convincing evidence she would try to govern as a socialist.
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a ‘we can’t find Bin Laden’ diversion.
Reagan never liked Hussein, but ultimately, helped him a little so Iran wouldn’t dominate the region. Liberals should read the real history on this point.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
Republicans are all over the place on trade views in all three cases.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
Our policy in Iraq has to do with beating Al Qaeda. Few Republicans give a hoot about enforcing U.N. resolutions.
5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The “can’t be trusted” slogan is pretty silly. It’s like saying that if we ban reckless driving, then we are saying that people can’t be trusted with a car. Also, drug companies are heavily regulated.
6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
Veterans’ benefits and combat pay have not been slashed.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
Data suggests they will have sex left if we promote the norm of abstinence.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Since that’s not what we’ve been doing, this one is just stupid.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO’s and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
It’s called “the invisible hand.” And since when do we provide health care to all Iraqis?
10. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
Most Republicans don’t think creationism should be taught in schools. And the debate on global warming and tobacco is over the details.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
The evidence indicates Bush didn’t lie.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The idea is to pass an amendment to ban gay marriage. One of the things you can do to the Constitution is to amend it.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
Most Republicans would say both are relevant, but would not weight the two the same way.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Republican views on druge enforcement are all over the place. Anyway, Republicans have generally been very kind to those struggling with addiction, including Democrats such as Patrick Kennedy.
15. Supporting ‘Executive Privilege’ for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
No Republican supports this.
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960’s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ‘80’s is irrelevant.
Any reasonable person would say both are relevant when considering someone’s fitness for the presidency.
17. Supporting hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
Too stupid to respond.
Okay, bedtime. I enjoyed the fish shooting.
>> Any Suggestions on how to respond.
Don’t.
To be a Republican you need to believe:
1. Jesus loves EVERYONE, even those who deny Him. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Some seek to celebrate their sins.
2. Stalin was a good guy when we teamed with him to defeat Adolph Hitler but ultimately a bad man who killed millions more than Hitler did. It took Communists like Pete Seger 40 years to admit the horrors of Stalinism.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is a dictatorship.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations; their sex abuse scandals far out weigh those publicized about the Catholic Church. The 3 major nations (Germany, France, and Russia) that opposed resuming our war with Iraq were receiving bribes from Saddam. The UN resolutions meant nothing to Saddam but we were “wrong” to go into Iraq because it is a “sovereign nation”. America’s soverignty means nothing to the Left.
5. The woman’s body ENDS at the umbilical cord. What is at the other end is another life. Child abuse sucks.
6. Clinton spent the peace dividend and savaged our military strength. If the national guard are overworked, perhaps we should increase the military budget.
7. Condoms in schools was not about ending teen pregnancy or ending STDs. It was about advancing the Sex Positive “just say yes” agenda. It forever shifted the debate from IF kids should be having sex to WHEN...
8. A good way to prolong the war is to provide continued aid and comfort to the enemy with deceitful propaganda from phony soldiers confessing to phony war crimes in regions committed under service that never served. The enemy uses such rants to recruit new jihadists and to justify their own Islamonazi horrors.
9. I keep waiting for the reparations to be paid out after the War on Poverty is finally won.
10. Few make the case that creationism should be taught as SCIENCE but even fewer are willing to teach that evolution is a theory and not established fact.
11. Lying under oath in a court of law is perjury. Selective redacted quotes is cheese and whine. What part of I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN was unclear or vague?
12. Constitutional amendments are by their very nature CONSTITUTIONAL.
13. Remember how you heard that Al Gore Junior won the popular vote in 2000? His certified margin of victory was 0.51% more of the vote. The October Surprise release of the “breaking news” of GW Bush’s decades old DWI arrest clearly cost him soem votes. Was it enough to sway the election? No. But Pope Al Gore hoped it would.
14. Many people are addicted to prescription and black market drugs. Some like JFK had their finger on the nuclear button while they were incapacitated. Feel safer now? When was the last time a radio host held that sort of power?
15. I have no idea what this even means.
16. Was GW AWOL in the 1980s? Did he enlist and then write a letter telling how he loathed the military? Oh wait, GW Bush invested in the R-rated Disney films of the 1980s. Yes, they are the same.
17. Must be hard to live down the murder committed by Teddy Kennedy and the KKK recruiter Senator Robert Byrd.
Thanks for your input..and a grudging congrats on the red sox winning ...from a die hard Yankee fan.
That slavery is wrong, and if we must go to war to end it, so be it.
If Democrats start a Ku Klux Klan and pass Jim Crow laws. we’ll put a stop to that nonsense too.
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