[Remember, Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon in two months. You try putting together something like that in two months, and we’ll see if it withstands the tests of time and criticism as the Book of Mormon has. We’ll see if it is the catalyst to building up millions of faithful followers across the planet.
Also recall, the Book of Mormon was written by ancient prophets, not by Joseph Smith. They utilized chiasmus and other literary techniques that were quite accepted amongst the ancient Hebrew literati - even if they seem unfamiliar and awkward to us. Not bad for a New York farm boy with a 4th grade education.]
Au contraire. Anyone who has written books, as I have, recognizes the style as “Plagiaristic Fraud 101”, the constant repetition of biblical buzz phrases, the mangled names, the abysmal storyline. It is certainly not the work of Prophetic Titans.
“You try putting together something like that in two months, and we’ll see if it withstands the tests of time and criticism as the Book of Mormon has. “
First, the BOM hasn’t stood up well at all, it makes Swiss cheese seem made of steel. The BOM has spawned countless denunciations based on its anomalies, before we even get to the storyline. Secondly, LRon Hubbard put out some pretty good crap like Dianetics in not much time.
I’m a damn good writer myself, but to write a fabrication like the BOM you’d have to be totally invested in a mountain of occult, masonic, religious and pop culture twaddle that would be hard to duplicate. If you want to read something that was truly hard to write, someday you will have to read the 200,000 words I wrote about the storage of nuclear waste. If you thought Joseph Smith could make you go blind and turn to Jesus, wait till you’ve read something like that.
But you tempt me:
“And it came to pass that the Woolites and the Caprolites, after having traveled lo many a fortnight in their Kon Tiki, alighted upon the sands of New Jersey.
And it came to pass, that Wooly (as he was affectionately known to the Woolites), took his magic steeled bronze bow and launched an arrow skyward, that upon falling struck a native Befuddledite in the spirit bottom, causing it’s engrams to flow skyward.
Lord forgive me! Wooly exclaimed, I know not what I do! But God’s wrath knew no lack and the Caprolites became the dominant species of the land.”
Trust me, if I put my mind to it I could out WordSmith Joseph Smith, but for what purpose? To deceive another 20 generations of saps? Now that would be cruelty.
“And it came to pass that the Woolites and the Caprolites, after having traveled lo many a fortnight in their Kon Tiki, alighted upon the sands of New Jersey. And it came to pass, that Wooly (as he was affectionately known to the Woolites), took his magic steeled bronze bow and launched an arrow skyward, that upon falling struck a native Befuddledite in the spirit bottom, causing it’s engrams to flow skyward. Lord forgive me! Wooly exclaimed, I know not what I do! But God’s wrath knew no lack and the Caprolites became the dominant species of the land.”I refuse to believe you unless you claim you translated this from golden tablets in a non-existent variation of ancient Egyptian but can never produce those golden tablets for some reason.
OH please do let me try.
It will start like this:
There is a tree outside in my yard. I call it Jesus Christ. God created it, so indeed it is the Son of God, as are all of us, and all other trees.
Once, all of its evergreen branches turned brown and the needles dropped off. He was dead. But suddenly, three days later, new life sprung from the branches. My tree named Christ came back to life!
There are those who believe my cedar tree originated in the middle east. It is said to have appeared mystically in South America (or perhaps upstate New York) in about the year 33.A.D.
We have no proof that this occured, but there was this guy who wrote a book claiming it happened. He was a stoopid, uneducated hillbilly, but he said he gazed in a rock, and low and behold, he saw the history of my Christ tree, and he wrote it down word for word. The story was inscribed upon a kryptonite disc that the aliens took away. The language on it was said to be Mormonized Yiddish.
Now you must accept me as a valid candidate for POTUS, since I am a Christian. Right?