I never tried to present myself as anything other than who I was. My marketing message to women was "what you see today is what you'll see everyday". Perhaps that is a message that runs fundamentally against nature. I don't know. I really rejected the notion of putting ones best foot foreward as I didn't want to deceive her into thinking I was something I wasn't. While I love my wife and children, there were several others who I thought were my dream come true only to wake up to the sounds of sirens going by in the night.
Nothing ever worked out and I have little idea why. Women can speak of jerks but the number of times I was stood up on a date and the resulting pain I can't count. I tried to be kind, supportive, encouraging and trustworthy in every respect only to repeatedly suffer the anguish of having who I thought was "Mrs Right" fall for someone else who always put his best foot foreward and more times than not had loser tatooed across his forehead.
Interestingly enough, after falling for someone else, every one of them became uncomfortably warm and irritatingly friendly after they got married... and subsequently divorced. I actually stay in contact (somewhat resentfully) with most but am not sure why. They do nothing for me and it's me who has to help them. Perhaps in my mind, I wish i could get in a time capsule and go back.
There is no chance of me being unfaithfull to my wife but there were others in the past who I had far, far stronger feelings for. So, say I settled for my wife. Perhaps i did but it doesn't change the fact that my promise to her was until "death do us part". Of course, it takes two to tango and if they didn't want to dance, what was there to do? The call for last dance was years ago.
I'm sure some will try to psychoanalyze me and have at it.
"There is no chance of me being unfaithfull to my wife but there were others in the past who I had far, far stronger feelings for. So, say I settled for my wife."
How sad.
I hope as time passes your memories of other women will fade away and you will come to appreciate your wife for the gift that she is.
She deserves better than to be considered 2nd (or 3rd) best.
So, say I settled for my wife. Perhaps i did but it doesn't change the fact that my promise to her was until "death do us part".
Congratulations. You sound like a real man to me. Reminds me of the song in 'Fiddler on the Roof' ('Do I love you?') A wealth of wisdom in that.