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(Iowahawk) IT’S THE HOMOS, STUPID: An Open Letter to the Conservative-American Community
IowaHawk | 10/18/2006 | David Burge

Posted on 10/18/2006 3:26:12 PM PDT by dighton

by Dr. Howard Dean
Chairman, Democratic National Committee

Dear Valued Potential Customer:

As the leader of one of America’s premier political parties, I know firsthand the importance of building bridges to the various communities and constituencies we serve. Unfortunately, when serving as many diverse communities as we do at the DNC, sometimes an important relationship can inadvertently fall through the cracks. Frankly, I realize we have not always brought our “A Game” when it comes to the concerns of conservative-Americans. That’s why we would like to take this opportunity to start a dialog with you, the conservative “values voter,” by addressing an issue of vital importance to all of us -- the growing Republican homo menace.

Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of  your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children’s safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That’s why we at the DNC have created “The Contract With American Hillbillies,” a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.

Continued . . .


TOPICS: Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: howarddean; iowahawk
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1 posted on 10/18/2006 3:26:13 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton

HOWARD JUST MADE A LOT OF FRIENS WITH THIS LITTLE RANT...HOPE HE SHOWS UP AT A NASCAR EVENT SOON...


2 posted on 10/18/2006 3:29:20 PM PDT by mmyers
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To: dighton
whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest.

Golden, dighton. Simply golden.

Owl_Eagle

If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.

3 posted on 10/18/2006 3:30:12 PM PDT by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: mmyers

You do realize that this is satire, right?


4 posted on 10/18/2006 3:30:25 PM PDT by Lurking Libertarian (Non sub homine, sed sub Deo et lege)
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To: dighton
As the leader of one of America’s premier political parties,

Which one is that, Doc? The American Communitst Party?

5 posted on 10/18/2006 3:31:28 PM PDT by llevrok (FREE KARASTAN !)
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To: mmyers

Obviously this went right over your head. It's a satire from Iowahawk, a long-time freeper and a fabulous satirists.


6 posted on 10/18/2006 3:32:02 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: mmyers

It's a farce, a lampoon, a parody.


7 posted on 10/18/2006 3:32:16 PM PDT by elhombrelibre (The Democrats newest paranoid strategy: Get to the bottom of the Vast Corn Hole Conspiracy!)
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To: Lurking Libertarian

LOL, I highly doubt it.


8 posted on 10/18/2006 3:32:22 PM PDT by Toby06
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To: dighton

Am I in before the Zot?


9 posted on 10/18/2006 3:32:41 PM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: durasell

Nobody will Zot this. This guy is one of us.


10 posted on 10/18/2006 3:33:30 PM PDT by elhombrelibre (The Democrats newest paranoid strategy: Get to the bottom of the Vast Corn Hole Conspiracy!)
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To: Lurking Libertarian

There are a lot of knotheads around here too dense for satire.


11 posted on 10/18/2006 3:34:56 PM PDT by SaxxonWoods (...ON 11/7, YOU ARE EITHER WITH US, OR WITH THE DEMOCRATS...)
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To: dighton

My favorite one was where muscle-cars scatter the hackey-sack set, but this one was great, too!


12 posted on 10/18/2006 3:35:21 PM PDT by gaijin
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To: Owl_Eagle
Banjo Pickin

Dueling Banjos (deliverance)
13 posted on 10/18/2006 3:37:07 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: dighton

There must be a label for those so lacking in discernment that they take satire as fact.

Meanwhile, how about a chorus of Dueling Banjos! Yee-haw!


14 posted on 10/18/2006 3:39:00 PM PDT by siunevada (If we learn nothing from history, what's the point of having one? - Peggy Hill)
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To: IowaHawk; aculeus; Billthedrill; Senator Bedfellow; hellinahandcart; MozarkDawg; BlueLancer; ...

Switch-hits it right outta the park.


15 posted on 10/18/2006 3:39:52 PM PDT by dighton
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To: All
And if their rampant homoism weren't enough, the GOP has further betrayed traditional conservatives by secretly nominating negros in races across the country. Yes, you read that correctly: actual negros. No matter how many times they try to hide the genetic truth from conservatives like you, GOP nominees like Michael Steele, Lynn Swann and Ken Blackwell are black as the ace of spades. Imagine the devastating impact on US property values if the world learns that more of those types have moved into the Congressional neighborhood.

Are these Republican negros also gay?


This was tooooo funny. It is written in a perfect way that Democrats think they can "speak red state".
16 posted on 10/18/2006 3:41:02 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: dighton

"We know that your number one concern of is the safety of your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest."

LOL!
That about sums up the liberal paradigm of conservatives.


17 posted on 10/18/2006 3:42:12 PM PDT by Redgirl (I'm going straight to Hell, just like my mama said.)
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To: SaxxonWoods
C'mon. . . we know what a satire is . . .
18 posted on 10/18/2006 3:42:31 PM PDT by BenLurkin ("The entire remedy is with the people." - W. H. Harrison)
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To: siunevada
"Meanwhile, how about a chorus of Dueling Banjos! Yee-haw!"

I think Ned Beattie (sp?) switched partys after that movie.
19 posted on 10/18/2006 3:43:39 PM PDT by Beagle8U (Demonrats want the Gays out of Congress.....stand back and let them purge their base.)
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To: dighton

This is hysterical. I needed a laugh after listening to the MSM's orchestrated gloom and dooom all day.


20 posted on 10/18/2006 3:44:49 PM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia
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