Posted on 09/15/2006 6:22:03 AM PDT by COUNTrecount
I thought this was SATIRE
So did I! I thought it was from Scappleface!
If Katie Colonic wants to be taken seriously, this is definitely, NOT the way to do it!
So YOU'RE the one!
Those are hawks, aren't they? Shouldn't they be vultures?
When I was reading this I thought it was from a 20 something staffer at CBS. I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I found the true author was Ms. Couric. What a lightweight...lol.
She's trying to appear "serious" and her make-up, while perhaps intended to support this attempt, just makes her look "hard".
To whom is she speaking? Teeny-boppers? Twenty-year old high-school dropouts sleeping on a couch somewhere? Fellow Cheerleaders?
She certainly could not be addressing professionals, adults and people who want the news to be simply the news and not a venue for some imaginary friendship.
" I’ll be posting more in the days ahead, but I just wanted to touch base and give you a few quick impressions of my first week in the chair, and under the spotlight.
As the late Karen Carpenter sang, “Close to you”, I mean, “We’ve only just begun.” Wow, how hip am I?
Stay tuned!"
Ooooooo! Katie! Way cool, girl. Way ta go TYROSBT! Cool! URUB!
Thank Heavens the internet exists. I can read the news in silence without pandering idiots slurping their vowels and opinions in my ears.
Pardon me. I have to yark...
vultures
I mean, this would be an embarrassing level of discourse for a 14 year old girl.
Please tell me this is satire.
This is EMBARRASSING! This is BEYOND SATIRE! I would not even write this journal as a PARODY, because it would lose the believability factor--but this is REAL!!!
ELAINE: Well, I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.
JAKE: Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.
ELAINE: You don't think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point.
JAKE: Hey look, I just chalked down the message. I didn't know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.
ELAINE: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.
JAKE: Ok, I'm excited. I just don't happen to like exclamation points.
ELAINE: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I'm talking right now, I would put an exclamation points at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!
JAKE: Well, you can put one on this one: I'm leaving!
She forgot to mention how she fired a 20 year Veteran reporter in favor of a non-ecperienced Doctor who is a close family friend.
I read the WHOLE thing, and thought, "This is really good satire from someone." and I love satirical pieces! Then I klicked the link and I was in SHOCK!.............
As the late Karen Carpenter sang, “Close to you”, I mean, “We’ve only just begun.” Wow, how hip am I?
IT'S FER REAL!........
This is Scrappleface, isn't it?
Me...me...me...meeee...It's allabout me..me..meeeeee!!!
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