Posted on 08/04/2006 5:11:55 AM PDT by Buffalo Bob
How a group of motorcycling Vietnam vets is helping the widow of a Montreal man killed in Iraq
A few weeks after her husband died in Iraq, Vendella de Moors popped a disc into her DVD player so she could watch him flash his brilliant smile again.
The U.S. Army allowed soldiers to film themselves reading stories and send recordings for their children at home. On this particular disc, however, Mrs. de Moors discovered much more.
After reading the stories -- Dr. Seuss, one for each child and one for Vendella -- First Lieutenant David de Moors said goodbye and rose to shut off the machine. Mrs. de Moors usually turned off the video at that point. But on this day, she kept watching.
When her husband reaches the machine, he realizes he has more time. He sits back down and tells his wife what do with his body if he dies.
"He goes, 'If you can, I want to be with my son.' He said, 'I want to be buried with my son,' " Mrs. de Moors said by telephone from Colorado as she cried.
This presented a problem. During their marriage the couple bounced between Gatineau, Que., Utah, Alabama, a military base in Germany and their current home in Fort Carson, Colo. Born in Montreal, Lieut. de Moors was Canadian -- he became an American after marrying his wife.
They had their first son, Gabriel, 13 years ago in Utah. He died of SIDS when he was two months old and is buried in Salt Lake City.
By the time Mrs. de Moors found her husband's message, she had buried him in Fort Mitchell National Cemetery in Alabama, her home state. In the throes of her grief, she reasoned it was best to locate the grave there because she would always return home.
"I got so upset with myself, because I had him buried in Alabama and there was my son in Utah. I was like, 'Oh my goodness, I messed up, I messed up, I messed up,' " Mrs. de Moors said.
"All of a sudden, it was as if David was there with me. I heard this voice and it went, 'No you didn't, Vendella. You did the right thing, because the guys are going to make sure that Gabriel's going to be with me.' "
"The guys" are the Patriot Guard Riders, motorcycle enthusiasts who attend soldiers' funerals. They have raised US$3,800 to exhume Gabriel's coffin in Utah and rebury it beside his father in Alabama on Aug. 4.
The Riders were formed last fall in response to the Rev. Fred Phelps, a fundamentalist preacher from Kansas. Mr. Phelps and his family believe God is punishing the United States for condoning homosexuality by killing and maiming its soldiers. The group routinely pickets military funerals with signs reading "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and shrieks insults loud enough for the grieving families to hear.
The motorcyclists shield mourners from the din by revving their engines and holding up American flags as a sign of respect. Many members of the Patriot Guard are Vietnam veterans who want to honour this generation of soldiers. It is not a biker gang: people can join by visiting the group's Web site. About 30,000 people have signed up in less than a year.
Bill "Snap" Lines, a grizzled Vietnam War veteran from Montgomery, Ala., who organizes Patriot Guard "missions" in the South, quickly realized the case of Lieut. de Moors was unique.
The 36-year-old was killed when a Black Hawk helicopter crashed near Tal Afar on Jan. 7, killing eight soldiers.
"He died for our country. He was a Canadian citizen, raised in Canada. He met and fell in love with an American girl, then fell in love with the country and became an American citizen," Mr. Lines said.
"Then he went to war for his country and died for his country. That just makes him a very special person."
Mr. Lines -- who calls himself Snap because "you just don't know when an old vet will snap" -- organized five dozen riders to attend the funeral. Mrs. de Moors quickly agreed: The bikers seemed fitting because her husband wanted to buy a motorcycle when he returned from Iraq. He was due back just a few weeks after he died.
"Normally we stand outside the church and act as sentinels more than participants," Mr. Lines said. "She asked us to come in ... She didn't have a lot of family at that service. It turned out her family was us."
Before Lieut. de Moors died, he and his wife had talked about his wish that he and Gabriel be buried together. The recording was a haunting reminder. Mrs. de Moors did ask about having her son reburied with his father, but the military told her she would have to pay the costs herself.
"I was not in the frame of mind to do this extra work or deal with all that came with this task," Mrs. de Moors recalled. "I put it on the back burner. After all, I had just lost my husband."
However, word of her predicament reached the Patriot Guard Riders. Before the funeral, Mr. Lines received an e-mail from a "person unknown" informing him of Lieut. de Moors' wish.
When he met Mrs. de Moors at the service, he asked if it was true.
"I just blurted out, 'Ma'am, am I to understand that you wanted to bury your infant son with your husband, but you couldn't make it happen?' She just started to cry and told me yes, that was true," he recalled.
"She had tears in her eyes and I just blurted out, 'I think we can make that happen.' I said it without thought as to cost or means. But I've got 30,000 friends who backed me up. "
Within a few weeks, the group raised more than enough to rebury Gabriel. Money left over will be used to bring Mr. de Moors' Canadian relatives to the service.
His mother, Danielle de Moors-Lanthier, is in a wheelchair and has never seen his grave. She has severe rheumatoid arthritis and when her son died, the disease was attacking her spine. She was in too much pain, and too nervous, to fly south for his funeral. Now she is adamant she will make it to Alabama in August.
"It's going to be another step of saying goodbye, seeing his last sleep, his last rest," she said from Saint-Felix-de-Valois, Que., 85 kilometres north of Montreal.
Mrs. de Moors-Lanthier, 57, is a mother of nine. She never expected her oldest son to enlist.
Yet it was in his nature to serve. Lieut. de Moors was raised a Mormon and proposed to Vendella when they were missionaries. The couple had never met face to face: They fell in love while they were pen pals.
After amassing more than US$40,000 in student debt, Lieut. de Moors joined the reserves, and later the Army, to pay for his education and provide for his family. He had big dreams --he wanted to complete a master's degree and go into politics.
"I am not a military fan. But with David's death, I gained a greater respect," Mrs. de Moors-Lanthier said. "I'm not for the war in Iraq, but I realized that whether it's policemen or firemen or soldiers, we must have those people."
Through Snap's fundraising efforts, an unlikely friendship has formed between the biker and the de Moors family. He keeps in touch with both Mrs. de Moors and Mrs. de Moors-Lanthier by telephone, providing updates on the plans for the service and an ear for their grief.
Now, Mrs. de Moors, a substitute teacher, is packing up her children for yet another move. They are settling in Peachtree City, Ga., for a fresh start and to be close enough to their father's cemetery that they can visit his grave.
Mrs. de Moors is adamant the service for Gabriel will be upbeat.
"It's going to be a happy time, because it's what my husband wanted," she said. "I know it's what he wanted.
"He didn't ask for much. It was the only wish that he had."
I met daddiesgirl in georgia for the welcome home for the 48th in Lawrenceville..nice girl..
PGR ping
More information on this ride, the baby will be escorted to the airport in Utah by PGR riders, Delta is flying the baby to Atlanta where it will be escorted, by a very limited number of bikes on the tarmac, from one plane to another, then flown to columbus where a very, very, very large number of PGR members will escort the procession to the cemetery..this is one mission I hate to miss, but I'm out of state right now..Look for the write-up on PGR's website, www.patriotguard.org..
There's apparently some malfunction in my computer screen. I'm having a tough time finishing this article without things getting blurred.
Pinging a few friends. Bring your hankies.
What a great story pulled from a two tragedies. Thank you for sharing.
That's the family that lost their 2nd son in the war. The WBC protesters are planning to be there in Lubbock. About a billion of our PGR brothers and sisters will be there to stand tall and silent, and shield the family from this filth.
BTTT
when I went on the mission for SPC Johnson in Adairsville, Georgia, we staged at a Food Lion..150 bikes or so..a girl came out and wanted to know what we were doing and what the Patriot Guard was..after I explained it all, she gave me a hug and said "And people think bikers are bad"..
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