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Magazine waits 20 years to apologize
Dayton Daily News ^ | 6/21/06 | Mary McCarty

Posted on 06/21/2006 7:34:57 AM PDT by qam1

Nothing like getting an apology 20 years after the fact.

Better late than never, I suppose. But have you ever gotten a heartfelt apology from someone when you were way, way over it? Imagine if your old boyfriend wanted you back, or a snobby classmate apologized at your 20th high school reunion.

In this case I'm talking about something far more serious. I'm talking about an event that traumatized an entire generation of single women.

I'm talking about the Newsweek article "The Marriage Crunch," published in June 1984. In a line that seemed wildly insensitive even then, the magazine predicted that a 40-year-old woman was "more likely to be killed by a terrorist" than to marry in her lifetime. The odds for thirty-somethings were declared to be only slightly better: One in five for a 30-year-old woman; one in 20 for a 35-year-old.

It was the shot heard round the world, at least among my circle of young, single women. Even then, we suspected the article — based on the slimmest of research by a pair of Yale University grad students — to be more backlash than foresight.

The magazine talked obsessively about a woman's "chances" of marrying, but we understood, theoretically at least, it was more about choices. The study relied on demographic trends from past generations that showed only a small percentage of women hadn't married by the age of 30. It failed to acknowledge that our generation felt far less social and financial pressure to marry in our 20s, or before the right person came along.

Not until the Newsweek article, at any rate. It felt like an elaborate taunt: "Maybe you have all this new independence, and unheard-of career opportunities, but you'll end up loveless and alone." The message struck some deep, insecure place in our psyches. We had not been raised by a generation of '50s-era mothers for nothing — women branded "long in the tooth" at the tender age of 25, spinsters at 30.

Were we really choosing career over love, as the article alleged?

Were we really being "too picky," as the magazine gleefully asserted? (There was no mention of domestic abuse or abandoned wives, or any of the dangers of not being "picky" enough.)

To mark the anniversary, Newsweek published a cover story this month on "Why We Were Wrong." The authors noted that the study's statistics turned out to be too pessimistic, and that 90 percent of baby-boomer men and women either have married or will marry. "And the days when half of all women would marry by 20, as they did in 1960, only look more anachronistic," they wrote.

Forgive us if we don't breathe a collective sigh of relief. My formerly single friends — many of whom married in their 30s — found ourselves too busy ferrying our children to soccer practice or gymnastics. In the midst of our harried schedules we might be forgiven for wishing, at times, that the magazine's predictions had come true.

But they didn't, of course, and I couldn't be more grateful for the unprecedented choices facing women of my generation.

And now, even Newsweek has recanted the story that caused us all so much angst.

Next thing you know, I'll be getting a call from the grade school bully, offering to fix my glasses.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: apology; dinosaurmedia; genx; newsweek; oops; singles; spinster
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To: xrp

Hm ... just a bit circular, but what the heck, I'll play along.

And what reason would that be?


41 posted on 06/21/2006 5:07:21 PM PDT by annie laurie (All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost)
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To: xrp

Then I suppose you'd make a great pair. Equal footing.

You don't have to worry about the women who are over 30, never married and childless....you need to worry about the women who are over 30, have 4 kids by 4 different men and have been married a minimum of twice. Same goes for women looking for a man. If there are several families out there where you were the dad, something's wrong.


42 posted on 06/21/2006 5:07:54 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: qam1

Oh, give me a $#@!$@ break. She does exactly what I expected, pat herself on the back for getting married and being a #@$@#% soccer mom. Well, congratuf'inlations for joining the human race, way to be proud for being NORMAL. Of course, it's all too typical to find that a self-centered Boomer reporter regards being normal as some sort of a grand accomplishment.

Then she says in not so many words, sometimes we wish it had been true that we would never have married and had kids, even now, after she has kids and a husband. Oh, I just BET she's a model mom and wife. /biting sarcasm


43 posted on 06/21/2006 5:13:26 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile ('Is' and 'amnesty' both have clear, plain meanings. Are Billy Jeff, Pence, McQueeg & Bush related?)
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To: JoeSixPack1

"Apology my butt. Simply creating a news article from a news article by pulling info out of thin air, twice, is not news."

It's always a slow news day at Newsweak. Why work when you can regurgitate? I bet they filled plenty of pages simply by reading letters from all the complaining women that wrote them over the years about that first 'news' piece.


44 posted on 06/21/2006 5:18:33 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile ('Is' and 'amnesty' both have clear, plain meanings. Are Billy Jeff, Pence, McQueeg & Bush related?)
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To: qam1

Foof! Anyone who wants to get married CAN get married.

Junk-claim by a junk-rag.


45 posted on 06/21/2006 5:21:45 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: ozarkgirl
Then I suppose you'd make a great pair. Equal footing.

Nah, that's far too logical, ozarkgirl ... please, stop making sense ;-)

You don't have to worry about the women who are over 30, never married and childless....you need to worry about the women who are over 30, have 4 kids by 4 different men and have been married a minimum of twice.

Same goes for women looking for a man. If there are several families out there where you were the dad, something's wrong.

In all seriousness, you've summed things up very well; excellent post!

46 posted on 06/21/2006 5:25:53 PM PDT by annie laurie (All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost)
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To: annie laurie
And what reason would that be?

Wow, if I could just figure that out...

47 posted on 06/21/2006 5:27:18 PM PDT by xrp (Fox News Channel: MISSING WHITE GIRL NETWORK)
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To: xrp
Wow, if I could just figure that out...

Heh. Well, I believe that you (not I) were the one who made the assertion that there was "a reason" ... I was just curious as to what this mysterious "reason" might be.

If you can't "figure it out," perhaps it wasn't a very well thought-out statement. I'll leave it at that, unless you have something else to add ;-)

48 posted on 06/21/2006 5:34:07 PM PDT by annie laurie (All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost)
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To: bannie
Anyone who wants to get married CAN get married.

I agree, one must just set their sights low enough.

49 posted on 06/21/2006 5:58:54 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: ozarkgirl

haha!

alas, I've been THERE.


50 posted on 06/21/2006 6:00:45 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: ozarkgirl
I agree, one must just set their sights low enough.

Hey wait a minute,why hasn`t that worked in my favor.

51 posted on 06/21/2006 6:13:08 PM PDT by carlr
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To: carlr

Ummm, excuse me... You aren't referring to me are you?


52 posted on 06/21/2006 6:16:05 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: carlr

Tell me more...

Just kidding, I know you better than that. Perhaps you have set your sights too high??


53 posted on 06/21/2006 6:18:42 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: ozarkgirl

Absolutely not.


54 posted on 06/21/2006 6:20:26 PM PDT by carlr
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To: carlr

You are far too sweet...


55 posted on 06/21/2006 6:22:40 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: Xenalyte
"Feh" is right! I'm damn near fifty, single, and still haven't lost a night's sleep over it.

I wonder if my neighbor read it, though. Since I've known her, she's cried a lot about never having been married. I don't get it...

56 posted on 06/21/2006 6:25:18 PM PDT by Ladysmith ((NRA, SAS))
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To: ozarkgirl

LOL!


57 posted on 06/21/2006 6:26:20 PM PDT by Ladysmith ((NRA, SAS))
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To: Xenalyte

So do I, and I laughed at it.


58 posted on 06/21/2006 6:30:32 PM PDT by Slip18
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To: Ladysmith
I'm damn near fifty, single, and still haven't lost a night's sleep over it.

That's funny! I am quite happy where I am in life. I've done both, tonight, I've cleaned my kitchen, put away stuff in my bedroom (just moved) and I am just OK. I think men need women more than women need men. Just curious, have you ever been married or just happy that you haven't needed that?

59 posted on 06/21/2006 6:30:43 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: ozarkgirl
"That's funny! I am quite happy where I am in life."

As long as you have your shotgun, you'll be happy for the rest of your life if you choose to be single.

I choose to be married, and I still have a shotgun! LOL!

60 posted on 06/21/2006 6:42:04 PM PDT by Slip18
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