Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors

Scotsman ^ | December 20, 2005 | CHRIS STEPHEN AND ALLAN HALL

[TexanToTheCore]

"< /fond memories of "American Chop Suey">"


</nightmares of fat ladies demanding that we eat vegetables encased in gelatin. Would have rather eaten grilled liver.>

[InsureAmerica]

Holey mackerel - janet reno or al franken? are they twins? what the??

[InsureAmerica]

Holey mackerel - janet reno or al franken? are they twins? what the??

[Fedora]

Didn't Superman defeat the results of this experiment already? :-)

Grodd

Lex Luthor knew that if he was going to have a serious chance against the Super Friends, he needed an animal on the team. Cheetah was pretty close since her pajamas had a tail taped on to the back of them, but Luthor still had his heart set on a real super-powered animal. He held open call tryouts and interviewed a bear with the super power of bike-riding, a jellyfish that smelled like peach, a dog that could count. . .But even with all of those qualified applicants, he decided on a gorilla that could talk. . .In all seriousness, talking is a pretty handy ability (unless you're Riddler). If all Grodd hung out with was regular gorillas, he'd be like the Superman of the group. He could order a pizza or explain the lyrics to love songs... he'd be a monkey hero. Around humans, all he can really do is carry the groceries from the car to the kitchen in fewer trips. Gorillas are strong, but not unstoppable rampage strong. What made him sadder was that he couldn't even get talking quite right. His grammar was fine, and he knew all the sinister words you need to use when you're evil, but every three or four syllables he'd have to pause and slurp a chin full of drool back into his mouth. . . I don't understand how Grodd ever tried to take us over with his power of talking. You can talk all you want to the army. They still have guns, and they still work on monkeys. If your face isn't bulletproof, that means it's going to explode when the National Guard shoots it no matter what you say to the bullet. And once Grodd's martial law falls apart and we're reclaiming our planet from him, he won't be able to hide from the revolutionaries with that noisy spit slurping problem.

[COBOL2Java]

Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

That explains a lot...

[bmwcyle]

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

Stalin must have been a Tolkien fan.

[traviskicks]

FYI

[AmericaUnite]

Funny they still haven't cured their rampant alcoholism. They wanted a superhuman?

[Matchett-PI]

"Down here in Arkansas there was a coverup story about a Clinton plot ...

They became suspicious because of his dark glasses.

[DogBarkTree]

This would explane the Williams sisters.

[HitmanLV]

The antics of the Red Ghost is even closer to the mark! Lee/Kirby were channeling something! Thank goodness for Dr. Reed Richards!!!!!!!!1

[RightWingAtheist]

[bruin66]

Was that necessary?

[Fedora]

LOL! I forgot about the Red Ghost :-) Just as long as they don't bring the Gibbon back. . .

[Dajjal]

I'm sure I saw this movie on the Late Late Show.

[printhead]

Man, I used to have the whole set. My ma threw them away when we moved.

[RightWingAtheist]

Me too. I think the title was They Spanked Stalin's Monkey.

[WestVirginiaRebel]

"I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain..."

[Valin]

And there was intense pressure to find a new labour force, particularly one that would not complain,


An old Soviet worker saying, "They pretend to pay us and we
pretend to work."