Posted on 12/19/2005 10:03:51 PM PST by JustAmy
shoot. I note it is "down".. it is amazing. It is a simon sez santa.. so cool.
Nice to meet you, too!
(I hope I didn't give the impression that I was disparaging the poundcake recipe)
SANTA DEALS WITH POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh; the ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. and people had started to call for the cops when they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose and had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion that making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets... they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football... someone could get hurt; besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed; he just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, but you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, each group of people, every religion; every ethnicity, every hue, everyone, everywhere... even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
My favorite post of the day! Woo hoo!
BTW, I didn't forward because I take the bus and we don't have ice storms in southern California.
Heehee.
This is great stuff! ROFL!!!
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. The ACLU has an ice storm machine, I understand.
:-)
They're coming after me, I'm sure, since I had the temerity to send them a CHRISTmas card...!!
Each December near my home
There blooms a Christmas rose
Unharmed by snow or bitter cold
This lovely blossom grows
I know not why it does not die
When wintery breezes press
I only know a brighter world
Comes from its loveliness
A legend says that Christmas rose
Came that first Christmas day
So that a child might have a gift
Before her Lord to lay
May God’s rich gifts be yours today
His blessings fall anew
And whether skies be dark or fair
May roses bloom for you . . .
I like that... and it is so familiar.. was it a song or adapted to a song.?no, I am not confusing w/Bette Middler's Rose.. My mind is getting more and more fuzzy/cloudy. It is so much fun getting old
NOT
Well, turned down two dinner invites, a call a few minutes ago to go to nearby community for a last minute/throw togther remembrance/celebration of life of a freind who died yesterday & Mom wants me to come up & watch Barbra Walter's with her at 9.. but party animal that I am of late, I am going to try to catch a few Zzzzss while I am tired. An I am drained.
Night all...
Beautiful card, Lori. Thank you.
See you in a couple of hours.
Oh...Louiebo...you are looking extremely handsome tonight in your winter coat!
Howdy AC. Haven't seen you for awhile. I've been buying and wrapping presents – something I'm not crazy about.
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