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Why do humans prefer to have sex in privacy? Question follows a Penn couple’s flagrant display
Philadelphia Enquirer ^ | December 5, 2005 | Faye Flam

Posted on 12/06/2005 12:18:48 PM PST by billorites

If scientists from another planet were trying to understand us, our obsession with privacy during sex would make a good thesis project.

The aliens might have noticed that most humans prefer to copulate while hidden away - in our cozy bedrooms or perhaps on a desolate beach dappled with moonbeams. Much fuss ensues when someone chooses to perform mating behavior more publicly, say in a sex club, or in front of a University of Pennsylvania dormitory window.

Why, the aliens might wonder, would crowds of humans gather to watch and photograph a pair of other humans at Penn who repeatedly failed to draw their curtains before engaging in intercourse? Why were the mating pair then so distressed about attracting a slightly wider audience when pictures circulated on the Web showing their naked backsides making the beast with two backs, as Shakespeare would say.

All this happened in the wake of a scandal that started with Channel 3's secretly planting TV cameras in Philadelphia sex club Kama Sutra, outraging patrons who go there to get some privacy while they have sex in large rooms full of other people.

Both incidents open up huge anthropological and sociobiological questions. Most animals don't care whether anyone watches them mating. They neither seek out nor avoid an audience. What's with the humans?

In societies from the sands of the Kalahari to the tiniest Pacific Islands, the cultural preference is for sex in private, says Christopher Kovats-Bernat, an anthropologist at Muhlenberg College in Allentown. Where people can afford it, "we segregate off a space in the dwelling that is devoted to two things - sleeping and sex." In many parts of the world, however, the private bedroom is an unattainable luxury.

While members of Kama Sutra reportedly pay $100 for the privilege of having sex in front of other people, couples in Japan are paying to be alone. There, extended families pack into single-room apartments, so a cottage industry has sprung up to provide "love hotels," says Kovats-Bernat. These by-the-hour rentals cater mostly to married couples.

The Seriono people of Bolivia also like privacy, but they sleep in common rooms in rows of hammocks, he says. So if one couple starts having sex, the neighbors will politely turn the other way.

There's some evidence a similar practice takes place in American college dormitories (though perhaps not at Penn).

And yet, many subcultures exist in which people seek out a certain lack of privacy. In Jamaica, Kovats-Bernat said, strip clubs offer something called "freaky sex" in which men get up on stage, strip, and have sex with the dancers. Either way, we seem to care whether people are watching us or not, which makes us quite different from, say, dogs, who couldn't care less.

In his book Why Is Sex Fun?, UCLA professor and noted author Jared Diamond explains why you and your dog will never understand each other's sex lives. No self-respecting dog would need to hide while mating, he says. Dogs also refrain from sex unless the female is in her fertile phase.

According to Diamond's book, our ape relatives routinely have sex in group settings but, like dogs, only when the female is in estrus. While some promote the idea that sex is only for procreation, Diamond notes that that's much more the case with chimps and dogs, who aren't interested unless they're likely to conceive. Humans, for some reason, evolved so that men and women want to mate all month long even though women are fertile for only a few days, which are hard to identify.

Diamond connects our so-called concealed ovulation with our desire for concealed copulation and outlines a couple of theories explaining why they evolved. One suggests the urge for privacy arose because it prevents conflict and thereby encourages group cohesion needed for successful hunting and gathering.

Illustrating with a more modern example, he writes that if it were an everyday occurrence for people to go into heat, get naked and full-out copulate, say, on the office couch, we just wouldn't get that much work done.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: discoverychannelsong; moralabsolutes
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To: billorites
Why do humans prefer to have sex in privacy?

I would attribute it to a learned behavior that very likely has its roots in early man's feeling of vulnerability to attack during sex.

61 posted on 12/06/2005 2:10:26 PM PST by MosesKnows
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To: wideminded
as if checking to see if any of the other monkeys had noticed what was happening.

What you perceived as looking around to see who noticed was most likely looking around to see if he was going to be attacked.

62 posted on 12/06/2005 2:13:34 PM PST by MosesKnows
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To: billorites

Ummm, 'cause you're incredibly vulnerable during mating?


63 posted on 12/06/2005 2:14:44 PM PST by Little Ray (I'm a reactionary, hirsute, gun-owning, knuckle dragging, Christian Neanderthal and proud of it!)
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To: PatrickHenry
Oh ... maybe one person comes to mind.

Hmmm...this artist works in seclusion, but not alone, unlike some others visiting this thread.

64 posted on 12/06/2005 2:35:36 PM PST by Aracelis
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To: MosesKnows
What you perceived as looking around to see who noticed was most likely looking around to see if he was going to be attacked.

Same thing. I have read that in some monkey societies, most of the mating is done by alpha males. But some of the other males manage to sneak in some sex now and then. So perhaps that is what I saw.

65 posted on 12/06/2005 2:56:25 PM PST by wideminded
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To: billorites

Hell, I'll take it anywhere I can get it....

The most bizare place for me was in a dental chair.

And do not ask for details, hahaha


66 posted on 12/06/2005 3:04:32 PM PST by CommandoFrank (Peer into the depths of hell and there you will find the face of Islam...)
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To: jaydubya2
Why do humans prefer to have sex in privacy?

My first thought was - have you ever seen your face... in the midst of a ... nevermind.

Not something to share with the neighborhood.

67 posted on 12/06/2005 3:05:43 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: billorites

I’ve always thought our desire to engage in sex in private was for the same reason we desire privacy for waste elimination – we are pretty much defenseless while so engaged. For most of humanity’s existence it was an important consideration.


68 posted on 12/06/2005 3:10:48 PM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; najida; PaulaB; EX52D; teenyelliott; peacebaby; Millee; ...

A couple of news worthy items I don't want you folks to miss.... PING...


69 posted on 12/06/2005 3:12:42 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

And your post number does not help matters much!! Sex in public?....where has never been a concern of mine. it has always been a concern of my companion at the time. Maybe in my next life!!


70 posted on 12/06/2005 3:22:31 PM PST by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
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To: Clemenza
We think we look like Jenna Jameson and Peter North, when most of us really resemble chimpanzees in heat. Yeek!

Who is this Peter North you mention. I have no idea :)

71 posted on 12/06/2005 3:32:13 PM PST by dc27
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To: sit-rep; laney; Millee; Larry Lucido

We should start a thread about "the wildest, weirdest place you ever..."...

he he he!!

PS... I bet Larry would win!
He has Michigan on his list.


72 posted on 12/06/2005 3:36:48 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: wildbill; Dashing Dasher

"If you are a hottie and want to experience my mystical powers, send a private reply. "

Soooooooo, wildbill, how many freepmails HAVE you gotten?


73 posted on 12/06/2005 3:38:50 PM PST by peacebaby (I'm not overwhelmed! I'm just the right amount of whelmed.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

What does Michigan have to do with anything??


74 posted on 12/06/2005 3:39:36 PM PST by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
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To: sit-rep; Larry Lucido

Actually - I was trying to make Larry sound exotic.


75 posted on 12/06/2005 3:40:43 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

"The aliens might have noticed that most humans prefer to copulate while hidden away..."

Aliens copulate through mental telepathy anyway. That's no fun.


76 posted on 12/06/2005 3:41:16 PM PST by peacebaby (I'm not overwhelmed! I'm just the right amount of whelmed.)
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To: wildbill; peacebaby

Hey, Peacebaby!

Looks like we got a live one here!

Mystical Powers?


LOL!!!!


77 posted on 12/06/2005 3:41:53 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

""the wildest, weirdest place you ever..."...

on an airport runway?


78 posted on 12/06/2005 3:42:33 PM PST by peacebaby (I'm not overwhelmed! I'm just the right amount of whelmed.)
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To: Dashing Dasher; Larry Lucido

Actually, we're both from MI...watch it or we'll tag team ya!


79 posted on 12/06/2005 3:43:08 PM PST by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
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To: Dashing Dasher

LOL..Hey sometimes they don't I use to live near a couple that could wake up the dead nightly with sounds of ectasy!

Yeegads!I called them Tina and Tom Tubee


80 posted on 12/06/2005 3:43:33 PM PST by laney (Merry Christmas Freepers!)
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