...A person can spend that added energy and deal with it & maybe it will work or maybe not, or they can cut their loss and cultivate a new relationship with a new person and not have to spend that extra energy
Thanks.
I don't know that I would assign precise numbers to the relationship maintenance effort, but your description of energy expenditure does provide an interesting perspective.
The numbers are just for illustrative purposes to quantify it for purposes of the explanation. It's just shorthand for saying 'the normal, expected mental, emotional, physical, etc energy to sustain a relationship.'
It normal times and in normal relationships, if '5' is average, it fluctuates between a 4 and a 6 I would guess. When a couple has a serious fight or a bumpy time, it jumps to a 6+ or 7, for example, but that's not sustained in most cases and drops back down to normal levels.
Basically, for most people, working out the relationship after a sexual betrayal bumps the energy commitment higher along the scale and for a longer and more sustained time. In my book, it's just not worth it when you can get a new relationship with another person and avoid that added stress.