[Fabozz]

"Violent crime has doubled in Scotland over the past 20 years..."

Hmm, what's changed in the UK over the past 20 years that could account for this... hmm, let me think... Ah, I've got it! It's global warming!

[sassbox]

nope, it's Bush's fault!

[Verginius Rufus]

It was the currency reform. In the old days Scots would spend their time looking for lost farthings in the heather...now they drink and get violent.

Actually, Scotland had violence in the past...lots of killings in the Lowlands about 400 years ago, but that was before they were using English money.

Queen Elizabeth is descended from Robert I, who got his start by murdering his rival John Comyn in Dumfries on Feb. 10, 1306.