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TOP SECRET: AFFIDAVIT OF WILSON AND PLAME'S PIZZA DELIVERY GUY
DFU's super secret source in the Justice Department | 7-2005 | Doug form Upland

Posted on 07/27/2005 3:44:11 PM PDT by doug from upland

AFFIDAVIT OF JAMES H. DONNER

My name is James H. Donner, and I am 19 years old.

No one has paid me for these statements. No member of the RNC, no one from the Bush administration, and no one from FreeRepublic.com has solicited this information.

For the past three and a half years, I have delivered pizza to the home of Joseph Wilson and Valerie Plame as well as to the homes of many others in the neighborhood. I live on the next street.

Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Plame worked for the CIA. It was no secret. Wilson was constantly bragging about it. She passed out her CIA business cards. Her Jaguar had a custom license plate: I SPY. At a costume party held by my parents, she and Wilson engaged in cross-dressing. She went as James Bond, and he was Pussy Galore. They used lines from Bond movies.

Sometimes when Wilson and Plame were in the spa in their backyard, some of us would peek through the fence from the house next door. They often drank French wine and ate Betty Crocker yellow cake with coconut pecan frosting. On several occasions we caught them having sex in the spa. They would be playing the soundtrack from FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, she would have a loaded Walther PPK on a ledge next to the spa, and at the moment of her maximum excitement, she would scream out, "Oh, Joe. Oh, Joe. I'm a spy, I'm a spy. Don't tell anybody or I'll have to kill you!" They got the biggest laugh out of that. Once, we even got some of the little kids in the neighborhood to pay us so they would get to watch through the fence.

One night in early 2002, they were in the spa and a few of us were peeking through the fence. I overheard Plame tell Wilson that she was going to tell people in our government that Wilson should go to Niger and check out a story about uranium. That night they were drinking sweet mint tea instead of French wine. They started to play the little spy game again but Plame got really mad. She was chewing Wilson out, yelling at him for not being able to perform. She said something like, "I have ways to find out, and I had better not find out that Little Joey has been wandering." He seemed to turn pale.

Once when I delivered pizza in late 2004, Plame paid me with a check. She gave me the wrong check. I got out to my truck and realized that it was for $2,000. Gino's makes great pizza, but we've never gotten $2,000 for one before. The check was made out to the John Kerry Presidential Campaign. She was grateful I gave it back, and when she paid me the right amount, she gave me another check of $50 for a tip. She also warned me not to tell anyone about the Kerry check. She said it in a way that kind of scared me.

The last time I delivered pizza to Wilson and Plame was in February of this year. I heard them laughing and talking about how they were going to F*** Karl Rove and F*** George Bush. I heard a couple of other voices. One, whom I think they called Chrissy, was talking about the days when he worked for Tip O'Neill. The other one sounded really drunk . One of them must have been the owner of the rusted out damaged 1968 Oldsmobile I saw in the driveway.

I swear that the statements made above are true and correct.

July 25, 2005



James H. Donner


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: almostsoundstrue; cialeak; donnerparty; donotbelieveit; fakearticle; humor; jamesbond; leak; meanttobefunny; niger; notreal; parody; plame; politicalhumor; sexinthespa; spoof; wilson; yellowcake
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I hope the Justice Department is not going to come after me for leaking this on FreeRepublic.
1 posted on 07/27/2005 3:44:12 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland

You actually had me going until paragraph 4!


2 posted on 07/27/2005 3:46:57 PM PDT by Recovering Hermit
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To: Recovering Hermit

I can't wait to hear from people read the whole thing and don't get it.


3 posted on 07/27/2005 3:47:49 PM PDT by doug from upland (The Hillary documentary is coming)
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To: doug from upland

Thanks for a great laugh.


4 posted on 07/27/2005 3:48:03 PM PDT by Taggart_D
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To: doug from upland

LOL!


5 posted on 07/27/2005 3:48:38 PM PDT by netmilsmom (God blessed me with a wonderful husband.)
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To: doug from upland



6 posted on 07/27/2005 3:48:42 PM PDT by tiredoflaundry (Tampa Bay, Fl. The lightning capital of the world!)
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To: tiredoflaundry

This should be in breaking news, (NOT)!


7 posted on 07/27/2005 3:50:17 PM PDT by Las Vegas Dave
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To: doug from upland
"I hope the Justice Department is not going to come after me for leaking this on FreeRepublic."

Nope, but Barbara Streisand is on the way over to give you some tongue.

8 posted on 07/27/2005 3:50:24 PM PDT by CWOJackson
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To: Las Vegas Dave

Let's see how long it takes for someone to complain and gets it sent to Bloggers.


9 posted on 07/27/2005 3:52:05 PM PDT by doug from upland (The Hillary documentary is coming)
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To: doug from upland
But, but, James. What kind of pizza did they order? I bet it was WMD pizza.
10 posted on 07/27/2005 3:53:33 PM PDT by YaYa123 (@With Mushrooms, Dammit!.com)
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To: doug from upland
Frankly, when caught unawares by the candid camera, I don't think Plame is all that attractive...


11 posted on 07/27/2005 3:53:55 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum.)
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To: doug from upland

LOL.... thanks! It's good to hear from their pizza-boy, but what we really need are transcripts of all of the corrupt and depraved discussions plotting this scam that have occured among Joe Wilson, Valerie Plame, David Corn, Larry Johnson, various sundry CIA rogue pals of Valerie, and all of their pals in the MSM such as Pincus, Cooper, et al. Would love to see the whole sordid scheme laid out in black and white!


12 posted on 07/27/2005 3:54:17 PM PDT by Enchante (Kerry's mere nuisances: Marine Barracks '83, WTC '93, Khobar Towers, Embassy Bombs '98, USS Cole!!!)
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To: doug from upland
LOL! PIZZA GUT BUMP !!!
13 posted on 07/27/2005 3:55:24 PM PDT by smoothsailing (Qui Nhon Turtle Co.)
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To: doug from upland

Larry C. Johnson is going to be REALLY upset when he finds out that he didn' get an invite to the Wilson's little spa-spy drama...LOL


14 posted on 07/27/2005 3:57:54 PM PDT by Mad Mammoth (Some folks just need killin' = Clint Eastwood as 'The Outlaw Josey Wales'...)
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To: doug from upland
Hmmmmmmmm ~ very interesting,
especially since ...



... this is their pizza delivery guy!

15 posted on 07/27/2005 3:58:13 PM PDT by Zacs Mom (Proud wife of a Marine! ... and purveyor of "rampant, unedited dialogue")
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To: Mad Mammoth

Darn, I missed something. I should have had Valerie talk about Larry's Johnson, instead of Larry Johnson.


16 posted on 07/27/2005 3:58:45 PM PDT by doug from upland (The Hillary documentary is coming)
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To: All

17 posted on 07/27/2005 3:59:58 PM PDT by doug from upland (The Hillary documentary is coming)
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To: doug from upland

This is why some animals eat their young. You should be ashamed of yourself. Donner party indeed. What was on those pizzas? The other, other white meat?


18 posted on 07/27/2005 4:03:42 PM PDT by mission9 (Be a citizen worth living for, in a Nation worth dying for...)
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To: doug from upland

More believable than the mass media.


19 posted on 07/27/2005 4:04:22 PM PDT by mtbopfuyn (Legality does not dictate morality... Lavin)
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To: doug from upland

Is this the real deal?


20 posted on 07/27/2005 4:07:50 PM PDT by holdonnow
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